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Cod Almighty | Diary

What the drivers fear most of all is a head-on collision with a blind tube mare

14 March 2017

Wicklow Diary writes: Pi day? That's for Americans and their cart-before-horse date system. Don't worry, buddies – fixing that is probably on President Putin's to-do list for you. In all decent society, today is 14/3, Parslow Point Day, and we're off to Pompey to celebrate in style.

Perhaps revealing their experiences in following Town, my family have different attitudes at the beginning of each season. With even my dad accepting that we're now safe from relo, dare we reset the sights to my children's aims of promotion? Games with Portsmouth have been pivotal in two previous promotion campaigns. Is it still a promotion campaign if you don't get promoted? Well, we didn't in 1984, when Pompey's 4-3 win at BP derailed the promotion choo-choo. Even with an abundance of competition, I'd like to point out that this is still in my top three all-time Town defeats. Damn you Mark Hateley and the mullet you rode in on.

For better vibes, I refer you to Tony Ford's 'fro-inspired victory of 1979. Ancient history of course. Of more recent positivity is the fact that the ref is the lad from play-off final who got caught celebrating Town's third goal at Plymouth this season.

On Saturday we faced a team on the canvas. We gave to the Leyton Orient bucket and even sang them a few nice songs. The collection raised an impressive £13,000, by the way. The victory was thoroughly enjoyed by one and all but it wasn't overlooked that the spirited Orient side was patchwork. Pompey are a different beast and as such should present a source of hope for Orient fans. As detailed in the CA rough guide, Portsmouth's owners gave the word 'shenanigans' a bad name for the better part of 50 years. Pompey's position in the league may have dropped but their club is stronger than ever and a positive example of fan ownership.

Of course, football fans are never ones to bask in the glow of perspective for long. With a well-run club and 12,000 season tickets comes the burden of expectation. Sniffing around the Pompey forums, there's a theme that Town fans will recognise. And one that could give us a foothold tonight if we can avoid conceding a Messi free kick or schoolboy set-piece in the first 90 seconds. Pompey have that thing where their support and performances are perceived to be better away from Fratton Park. That cursed expectation can cause grumbles and a tension that has resulted in five home defeats. Now where have we heard that before?

Scunny, eh? They saw us give Barnet two penalties to throw two points away and said: "Hold my drink..."

They were certainly impressive on and off the pitch in December's visit to BP. In recent weeks Pompey have taken advantage of Carlisle's Scunny-like plummet and moved into the third promotion spot. Scunny, eh? They saw us give Barnet two penalties to throw two points away and said: "Hold my drink..."

Let's stop laughing and get back to Pompey. The weekend's 4-0 win at Colchester was also their 15th clean sheet and we lead the division with them in this category. For us, Marcus is setting expectation by informing us that squad rotation is part of his three-game plan for this week. I wonder if the whole squad will travel today. Probably the only thing worse than sitting on a coach for 12 hours to play a game is sitting on it without playing.

It's a trade-off innit? Using the squad can prevent tiredness but it can stop a team ever hitting its stride. A way of reducing the impacts of the rear-numbing and back-seizing six-hour coach drive on our performance would surely have been an overnight stay. Marcus suggested this during last week's forum to the tune of laughter and a swift dismissal.

Maybe it's like club summer tours, which, it emerged during last week's forum, John Fenty would be delighted to see us do – as long as someone else paid for the trip. Hard to believe such fiscal responsibility from someone who gave Anthony Straker a contract. Did your questions get asked at the forum, by the way? Mine didn't make the setlist for the the second year running. If the club is afraid of answering a few straightforward questions, we're in trouble. 

It's often stated when you see owners destroying clubs that we're lucky to have John Fenty. Give him time if his performance in the forum is an indicator. He restated his support for under-21 team participation in the EFL Trophy – a stance which betrays a complete lack of respect for the views of many supporters and the trust itself. His only mention in the forum of the fans' boycott of this season's tournament was to make the petty claim that it probably didn't cost the club any money. If we don't hold Fenty to account on every detail of the stadium project we might find ourselves meeting Leyton Orient travelling in opposite directions soon.

Elsewhere tonight, keep an eye on the scoreline from AFC Wimbledon. UTM and come on the real Dons!