Cod Almighty | Diary
Everything in its right place
18 April 2017
Wicklow Diary writes: For some reason losing to Cheltenham has started to carry a disproportionate sting. I don't get it. I am normally quite rational when it comes to footballing rivals. Scunny, Hull and Lincoln down the years for example. I wanted to beat them royally every time but I liked having them there and didn't wish them any serious ill. Lincoln's imminent promotion to the league is a case in point. I'm not cheering them on or 'owt daft but when I see them win in dramatic fashion like they did yesterday, I tip the hat. Well, not towards Matt Rhead obviously, especially as he was up to his old tricks again yesterday.
Cheltenham are different. How could I have a deep-seated dislike for a team we hadn't played until 2004? I don't feel resentment towards them for 2006. That failure was basically by our own hand. So it must be last season then? The starting point or inception was probably the over-the-top celebrations on the pitch after they beat us at BP. This was compounded by their diving and stamping victory in the return game.
It's not enough though. We can take a fair beating and not hold it against a team. We can even take an unfair one sometimes. Bristol Rovers are an example. They were gracious in victory in 2015, perhaps knowing that they were the beneficiary, in Middle-Aged Diary's words, of a ref who by not wanting to spoil the game, actually spoiled our season. Our own frustrations play a part in all of this too I think. Last season also had the backdrop of the nagging thought that if Steady Eddie Paul Hurst had taken the shackles off and raised his sights to be top one as opposed to top five, we'd have walked the league.
That was last season, so why can't we take our promotion and just move on? I think our own impotence comes into it again. In this the most inconsistent of seasons, we happened to play Cheltenham when a manager was either coming or going. Or maybe it's because some of the things about them seem non-League. This of course is what they are in my generation's eighties frame of reference. I have my historical ninety-two and relative newcomers like Cheltenham, Crawley, Stevenage or Fleetwood miss out just as Barrow, Southport and Workington do on the other side. It would be petty to mention the naff kit that's half stripes, half quarters and a whole mess. Or the World of Smile/LCI Rail Stadium. So I won't...
Their pitch and tactics look non-League but they are actually pinched from Cambridge's Abbey Stadium in the nineties. Gary Johnson is after all the spawn of the route one hoofball devil himself, John Beck. We're certainly different as clubs in terms of history and ambition. Perhaps nothing defines that divide better than the fundraising efforts of the two clubs. We had a fundraiser and bought Omar Bogle for £50k. They had a fundraiser and paid a similar amount for a scoreboard.
This season's game at BP went perfectly to their script. Former Town mascot Billy Waters, stoked things up with a 'we're better than you' article in the Telegraph. This should have been pinned up as part of Paul Hurst's teamtalk but he was probably too busy printing off the Shrewsbury Town wikipedia pages. Of course, Billy got the only goal. How very dare you. Bearing the name of Holy Joe Waters and upsetting your Cleethorpes nan like that.
Yesterday's cross country jaunt was made even worse by a ridiculous kick-off time. After all the unnecessary nonsense of making the game all ticket, Cheltenham announced 'pay on the day' an hour before kick off. Thanks for that lads, let me just rev up the matter transporter and I'll be right with you. In the game itself, Harry Pell scored a cracking clincher and celebrated like Richard Brodie. Why celebrate with my own fans when I can wind up the opposition? All very non-League.
Before I fall off my high horse, it's noble to want to be honest and just in victory. The greatest moments and players in my lifetime are obviously viewed through black and white filter but football relies on perspective. We're not necessarily always the good guys. Yesterday's result was sealed when Gavin Gunning was sent off for brushing against Danny Wright's fake tan. Mad Gav will miss the last three games of the season and that might be the end of his GTFC career. The decision seemed harsh to me but he received a thorough online bashing for the challenge. For a similar challenge in 2005, Justin Whittle had a national holiday named after him and T-shirts made in honour.
The defeat leaves the play-offs where they've been most of the season, tantalisingly out of reach. In fact it's probably best not to look at the table between now and August, seeing things like Stevenage in fifth with 17 defeats to their name is not good for the soul. Russell Slade's post match comments that you can't rock up for periods of the game and expect to succeed could obviously be expanded to apply to our whole season.
The good news is that we'll all be here again next season. Retro Diary is the master at spinning the cyclical nature of football and the reasons we love it, so I won't try to tread on his territory. Happily if we do have to return to Cheltenham, the pitch should be better; tenants Gloucester City have been asked to hand back the keys and leave next month.
True, it was a really average division. But it will be next season too. We've got a proper manager on board. By proper, I'm not talking about tactics or wotnot. I mean he wears a tracksuit on the touchline. I'm sorry but I can never really feel comfortable with a boss wearing designer clobber on the touchline. All I can think of is the dry cleaning headaches if he does a knee slide to greet a last minute winner. With Slade, we can expect organisation and consistency. If we can retain and sign the right players, we'll do well next season. Even if we do have to give Cheltenham six points again to help keep them in the league.