The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

Sublimely ridiculous

3 May 2017

Devon Diary writes: Last night, the club held its Player of the Year Awards soirée at the Beachcomber. If you weren’t lucky enough to be there then you can find a full list of the winners here.

In a nutshell, Danny Andrew won pretty much every flavour of POTY, and fully deserved it is too as he’s been remarkably consistent over the season, missing just one game by my reckoning (and that was in a competition we don't talk about). Goal of the season was Jamey Osborne's Reddy-esque solo effort against Yeovil and Calum Dyson bagged young POTY. There were also notable mentions for Craig Disley, Shaun Pearson and Andrew’s fellow fullback Zak! Mills.

With a bit of luck both Andrew and Dyson will be with us next season, rather than nicking off to sign for Hartlepool, as has been the trend recently. The gaffer has made no secret of his desire to hold on to Andrew and last night Steels backed him with the offer of a jumbo in return for his signature. Of the other award winners, Disley and Pearson are also out of contracts. It’s going to be a tense few weeks off the field.

Now, pretty much everything I was going to write about in the diary was grabbed by Wicklow yesterday so I’m left with pretty meagre pickings. You can tell it’s a quiet news week when the Telegraph runs a desperate article on who Russell Slade might be tempted to bring in from relegated Coventry so we'll have to look elsewhere for our fun.

I came across something ace on that Twitter the other day and for once it wasn’t just someone taking the piss out of that arsehole Paul Nuttall. No, this was something much more entertaining and also footy-related so, for once, I’m remaining on-topic.

Sunderland fan @hmclandress tweeted that for every 'like' he got, he would tweet a ridiculous thing from the club’s recent history. He made a good fist of it too, but was soon overwhelmed by over 2,000 likes. Not even Sunderland have had that many ridiculous episodes, surely?

Before he gave up though, we were reminded of our own John Oster accidentally shooting one of his Stadium of Light teammates. 

The baton was picked up by those wonderful folks at Barnsley fanzine @WestStandBogs who offered the same deal and seemed to have plenty of incidents to back it up. There were some crackers for sure but once again there was a Grimsby link for those of us willing to wait.

All of this got me thinking. If we were to make the same offer, what would our ridiculous incidents be? We've had a few, right? I’ll start you off with that time early this season when our very own non-Chairman, Mr John Fenty made the national press with his claim that female fans were smuggling smoke bombs into Blundell Park disguised as tampons.

Now it’s over to you. It’s Wednesday, the middle of the week and you're twiddling your thumbs at work. The weekend still looks a way off and you're looking for something to take your mind off things. Drop us a line or tweet us your suggestions. Maybe we'll plot a timeline of cringe with the results.  

Also, make sure you check out Ron Counte's alternative reality piece on what might have happened if Podge had missed that peno at Braintree. Shudder.

We're here to help you waste time. You're welcome.