Cod Almighty | Diary
Take me home
16 May 2017
Wicklow Diary writes: It was a school night but did you have a couple of scoops to mark the anniversary? Physically, I spent yesterday buried at work in tasks whose quantity was only exceeded by their tedium. Mentally of course I was elsewhere. In fact the contrast of a mundane Monday made me appreciate and savour last year's memories all the more.
On Sunday, Forest Green had their day in the sun. Hurst and Hargreaves were in the studio for Fuck BT Sport so I tuned in for old times' sake. I also wanted to see if Hursty could go the whole broadcast without uttering the word 'Grimsby'. By the end of the game, it dawned on me again just how perfect 15 May 2016 was. Of course we'd have gone up whether the score was 2-1 or 3-1, but would we have got as dizzy with emotion without Nathan's clincher? Well done once again Jon Nolan for taking Jim Dobbin's lead and ignoring his manager's screams of "stick it in the corner".
As for the FGR win, it's normal for traditionalist folk to feel a bit nauseous when a moneybags team triumphs. I felt the same when I heard Chelsea had won the Premier League title. However, that's the game we've signed up for. If we've allowed Roman Abramovich to do it, it seems a bit harsh knocking Dale Vince. Especially when Dale doesn't need an anti-missile defence system on his yacht.
Don't be too harsh on him on either for saying FGR's next promotion would be easier. Vince's probably correct. A friend with experience of the long-departed Bags' Ball tells me a chance of a coupling at the venue and the division four promotion train operated on similar odds. Besides, we of all clubs' fans know that an owner can't be judged on doing or singing something stupid in the euphoric aftermath of a play-off win.
Any dislike of FGR is nowt to do with the vegan or eco stuff. Retro Diary may be on leave but he still speaks for me in last year's play-off diary epic:
As I may have said before, the thing we shouldn't hold against Forest Green is all their eco stuff. For football, it is unique and brave. For fans of Town, a club whose ground is a hundred yards from the tideline, to criticise renewable energy, which was pretty much invented to prevent devastating sea level rise, just makes us sound like loons. Also, before you antagonise our opponents for not being cruel to animals and moving to a system that can feed millions more people in this world, just have a word with yourself about the kind of human being you want to be.
The money thing, however, is difficult to get past. We know how they can do it but we also know why they shouldn't do it. You only have to look at the PL to see that moralising isn't going to stop anyone though. And look where it's got us. English football and the national team are in a right mess. We always had trouble with teams from the warmer climates. Now we can't even beat that crowd that come from the land of the ice and snow with a one-goal head start. Who can save us?
Step forward John S Fenty, ex-chairman and current non-chairman of the chairman-less Grimsby Town. You thought the S stood for Shelton? It's actually Super. John already has enough on his plate. A plate looking fuller than a jumbo lunch at Steel's. Yet he's still asking for a second helping of mushies. Council meetings to attend, a loss-making football club to run, Fishy posters to entertain, a stadium to build and a promotion team to build.
Yet on top of all of this, selfless Super John is thinking of others. Others like the outcasts of down-at-heel clubs like Chelsea and Man City. Won't somebody think of the children? Yes – Super John will. The last three FA Youth Cup finals have been contested by these two. A testimony to their tireless trawl of the country's playing fields and offering the parents of nine-year-olds a bag of sweets and a flat screen telly to get into their car and sign up. From there it's a path of destruction and footballing death by a thousand UEFA-badged academy coaches.
Our first team should never play a competitive match against a B team. We have history and tradition that deserve respect. We are not cannon fodder or a testing ground for the excesses and mistakes of the Premier League
Super John and the other Football League superhero owners want to save the innocents and English football by getting them playing "men's football", as he called it at the forum in March.
John, these youngsters are not your constituency. English football is not either. GTFC and its supporters are. Whenever people criticise Super John, you'll hear in his defence that he's a fan. He's Grimsby through and through. I believe this. For completeness, I had a look at the board of directors listed on the official site. Lee Mullen isn't on there. Is this stopped-clock logic? The page is either up to date or so out of date that they haven't got round to adding Lee. Either is possible.
Regardless, all the names listed proclaim their devotion to GTFC. Michael 'Loyal Town Fan' Chapman, Stephen 'Rarely Misses A Game' Marley, Philip 'Avid Town Fan All His Life' Day and Ian 'Avid Mariners Fan' Fleming. Actually, Fleming is so much a part of Town history, he may well have been in the Wellington Arms on that fateful evening in 1878.
So gentlemen of the board, please show us that you love your club. There's a lot of competition, but nothing is so utterly short-sighted and stupid in football right now as B teams. Our first team should never play a competitive match against a B team. We are one of the 92. We have history and tradition that demand and deserve respect. We are not cannon fodder or a testing ground for the excesses and mistakes of the Premier League.
Of course, the damage has already been done. Twice now. Another Super John defence is that he makes mistakes but he has good intentions. With B teams, we've used up that excuse. This bad decision is no longer a mistake: it's a modus operandi.
Super John became Seething John in his club statement about the B teams. It's a bit of a baffler. GTFC club statements are like watching a series of Breaking Bad. You think that's it, there's no way he can top the last instalment... and yet they do.
The Football League seems to have annoyed John by taking his suggestions on board. Or was he annoyed that he was getting the credit? I don't know. He was so angry that he dismissed other options like a regional event and went with the option that he hated but had suggested. Answers on a postcard please.
Actually, a regional event with Scunny, Lincoln and Donny might have made the club a few bob. Instead we'll probably have another boycott because he defied the unanimous wishes of GTFC supporters.
If we were ignored like that as customers of a regular enterprise, we'd leave, never to return. As football fans, we don't have that luxury.
We can't leave. But the board can. Super John has said in the past that if the right offer comes in, he will move on. Mike Parker probably doubts it. I doubt it too. I sat near the directors' area in the Upper Findus against Yeovil. The world looks bigger from up there. Dock Tower, the clouds, the ice stores, the wind farm, the ships, a thousand chimney stacks. Then you take in the ground itself, the stands, the colours, the crowd, the noise when Jamey Osborne sprints 70 yards and sticks one in the corner. If it gets the heart racing as a paying punter, just imagine the trip if you actually owned it.
But, let's give John the benefit of the doubt. In 2013, he suggested that a "cocktail of people would be welcomed with open arms".
What would it take? The Exeter fans' trust were faced with different problems when they took over their club but they've put an estimated £1.75million in over 13 years. They're doing alright for themselves now, aren't they. Could we get 2,000 people putting in £100 a year for ten years? What would it even take and how could the proposal, presumbly by the trust, be put to the club? You can tell I'm out of my depth here – but that's exactly how Exeter and other successful fan-owned clubs felt at one stage too.
Bloody hell Wicklow, that escalated quickly – any actual football news? Good spot on Twitter by Internet Mariner kingpin Matthew Lond; the Stamford and Rutland News has us down for a Lincs Cup game on 11 July. We can last 'til then, can't we?