Cod Almighty | Diary
China Syndrome
14 June 2017
Wicklow Diary writes: Town have a new kit. It's black and white. It's got Errea and Young's on it. As usual, reactions range from bloody ace, this to bloody pants, that and new kit, haven't we signed anyone yet?. You can get a tenner off with a season ticket. Actually don't bother with that, the Telegraph are offering a similar deal so just pinch a voucher out of the barber's copy.
Players come and go. Today's hero is Monday's git when he signs up for Shrewsbury or Hartlepool. There's a meaty thread on the Fishy where the consensus is the man involved in all three goals in our playoff win at Wembley is actually rubbish. Disleys and Pearsons aside, once a player is gone, you're dead to these guys. The shirt is important. As Jerry Seinfeld once said, we're basically just cheering for polyester laundry.
This is the final season of the current Errea contract. If you care enough to be critical of the shirt, spare a thought for the Errea designer. It's the Italian company's tenth season with us. Just how many variations on black and white stripes with a touch of red do you think there are? If I'm going to nitpick I'd say I was hoping for a return of stripes on the back with red numbering. What I got was a collar that is an obvious tribute to Carter Burke in the film Aliens. The red socks with a black top are a first and look smart. At least it's bespoke. If you go with Adidas or Nike, you just get a template kit. Refer to Hartlepool, Kilmarnock and other stripey types last season to see where that can get you.
Clifton, Vernon, Jones and Davies have the honour/poison chalice of modelling the new threads. Everyone is gone from the previous home shirt launch prior to Wembley. Well, technically Josh Venney has been invited back to preseason training but the signs are he's headed the way of Humble, Winfarrah and Walker. Remember their happy little faces pictured on the docks for the kit launch in 2014? A happiness tempered by the realisation that the merchants outfit they'd been given wasn't a wardrobe change but career advice for a GTFC youth.
Tomorrow and Friday sees the launch of the the away and third kits. You think I'm imagining the curse? Well, Miss Grimsby 2016 launched the last season's and she too was gone within a year.
It's the fourteenth season for Young’s on the shirt. Fourteen and a bit if you count the end of 2003/04 when they took over from Jarvis. That’s the second longest out of all ninety-two clubs with only Exeter and Flybe pipping us by a season. Thumbs up for supporting their local team through thin and slightly less thinner.
What about the contents of these fine new shirts? Any incomings/outgoings? Russell Slade has a 'summer update' on the Service Formerly Known as Mariners Player HD. I can't tell you exactly what he says because, despite a couple of requests, they haven't sent my new password yet. Apparently someone might be on the way out by the end of the week but that's all we know.
Two of the Wembley 2016 side have found themselves new clubs. JP Pittman has joined Guru Josh at Torquay and Jon Nolan has signed up with Hursty at Shrewimsby Town. I'm waiting for him to sign Podge and Nathan Arnold. It will be one less variable in the manager/player/board whodunnit.
The League Cup has a got a dodgy new name and the draw is taking place on Friday in Bangkok. Yes, Bangkok. In Thailand. This comes in the same week as 11am and 7.45pm Saturday kickoffs were discussed by the Premier League. It's a sign of things to come and I've been trying to see how we can make the best of it.
We've consistently highlighted the negatives of the Premier League on Cod Almighty. I'm going to step out of the echo chamber and attempt to look at the positives.
Crap. It didn't work. I'll try again, a little harder this time.
OK... if we put the aside original/regular diary's words that football "means supporting a team whose DNA – via geography, family, culture, belonging, romance, or happenstance – pulses through your blood. The belief that supporting does not mean choosing the most attractive brand off the shelf. The belief that football is not a supermarket". Pause for a minute and forget that we regard ourselves as Superfreak by Rick James and Premier League fans as U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer.
... then the Premier League has been a monumental success. Stand back and admire the financial behemoth that it has become. Many aspects of football in the 80s were failing. The PL have taken that and created something that is sold all over the world. And it's the perfect capitalist bubble. TV companies win bidding wars to pay billions while the losers are afraid to point out any shortcomings because they've got their eye on the next round bidding. The print media are fighting for their lives against modern 'bantz' and meme-based coverage, so they're all good as gold too. The PL have a monopoly and somebody is making lots of money. Players, agents, owners, TV companies, advertisers, stadium builders, PR/marketing types and plinth designers have never been happier.
The appeal is insane. I have a mate at work who has applied for a pair of Spurs season tickets at Wembley. He lives in Dublin and doesn't even support Spurs. Not insane, just hooked on the PL.
This appeal is reflected worldwide by Manchester United's assertion that they have 659 million "followers." Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal all make similar impressive claims. Why wouldn't they try to arrange games at times to suit their global audience or suggest things like "Game 39"?
We're holding them back by not agreeing to their requests. The PL has teams of foreign players, with foreign owners, watched primarily by foreign audiences. The solution is to set the PL free. A PL-exit. A whole season of game 39s. The precedent is there. The FA helped Wimbledon; now do the decent thing by moving the Manchester Devils to Bangkok, Liverpool Red Sox to Singapore, West Ham LuckyBet888 to Hong Kong. Play the matches when you want and where you want with no threat of relegation. A World Super League. Just leave your grounds and your youth teams behind to the phoenix clubs that will take your place in Division One of the new four-division Football League. It won't be perfect but I think we'd all be a lot happier.