Cod Almighty | Diary

Hold on tight, everyone

6 September 2017

It's Wednesday, it's not five to five, and it's your original/regular Diary. Now then buggerlugs.

Town aren't signing any more players, Town are giving a trial to three more potential signings, and there's one more addition to the list of things about the modern world that I don't understand. This time yesterday (ish), as Middle-Aged Diary wrote, the reserves were breezing past non-League Hartlepool, and among their number were three names you won't have heard before: Reece Hall-Johnson, Armend Kabashi and André Olukanmi. I won't bother finding out who they are or anything, though, because Town aren't signing any more players.

Taking into account youth team players being promoted into the second string, there were actually about six names I hadn't heard before, but there you go; I'm not here because I know things. I've just allowed myself to become irrationally excited because one of the trialists comes from Finland, and I suggest you do the same. This is irrational for two reasons: because I wildly overrate anything or anyone related to Scandinavia, and because Town aren't signing any more players.

Meanwhile the club is in talks with Humberside Police about, well, getting rid of them, basically. The proposal is that officers do their officering strictly outside the BP from now, except for fixtures where they'll definitely be needed because of that thing where if the away team is based within a 50-mile radius and you've got a dick then you have to try and thump their fans.

Speaking to the Grimsby Telegraph about the proposal, which is almost certainly about finances, Town's stadium manager Nick Dale says: "It is not about finances. It is about responsible management of the football ground," adding: "We are happy for that footprint if they are able to, but otherwise what is the point?" Rumours that John Fenty now provides personal one-to-one media training for his employees are yet to be started.

I think we forgot to mention the Craig Disley benefit match, which has been billed as Grimsby Town Select XI vs Craig Disley All Stars and scheduled for Hallowe'en. Look out for ticket news soon, pay tribute to a Town legend, and spend the evening out of the house so you don't have to answer the door to more-than-usually frightening children demanding money on pain of letting your tyres down. Basically there are no testimonials any more because nobody spends ten years at one club any more, so this is what we have instead. At least until October 2025, when we celebrate Harry Clifton's ten years as a pro with GTFC and wonder if he might get a debut that weekend.

Last up today, here's an update on the Crewe player knocked out last Saturday by his collision with Mitch Rose. All the best to Conor Grant. Take as long as it takes.