Cod Almighty | Diary

Alan Moore knows the score

22 September 2017

Wicklow Diary writes: Three things occurred to me as I read of Lt Col Stanislav Petrov and how the world could have ended on September 26, 1983. Why didn't I know about this terrifying yet heroic story before now? Why did his death go unacknowledged by the world that he had helped spare? I'm a little ashamed to say that these came second and third after my initial thought that armageddon would have messed up an otherwise decent season for Town. Perhaps this answers the questions posed by the first two thoughts.

The world couldn't end on a Tuesday anyway. What have Tuesdays ever done for anybody? You survive Monday to find it's still only Tuesday and then the world ends. Worse than that, Karma Chameleon was top of the charts. What an awful, yet fitting, judgement on civilisation that would have been. Mind you, we would have been saved from eight more weeks of that paddle boat video closing Top of the Pops.

Another plus of course being we'd have been in division two when the music stopped. I'm a little more relaxed at the thought of nuclear annihilation since we got back in the league. No way could the world end with us outside the 92. Having said that, I'd be even more at ease with some survival skills up my sleeve. There's a guy at work that knows how to skin rabbits. I don't even have a Bear Grylls boxset. I'm more of a help you get your internet bookmarks from laptop to phone or program your VCR type of guy. Let's face it, neither are going to be in much demand if the worst comes to the worst. Google will still work, right?

Enough Wicklow, three paragraphs of musings on the end of everything and Culture Club, what's going on? It's my way of avoiding the real news concerning the FA, the football league, Garth Lane and the direction Craig Disley's benefit game might be taking. You want some football then? 

Ok, it's Newport tomorrow. My flatmate in London in the 90s worked there building slurry walls to prevent chemical plants leaking stuff into the surrounding soil and, ya know, killing us softly with their toxins. He wasn't sure what would get him first: the commute, drinking alcopops two at a time or the carcinogenic work boots. Chemical plants, sea and bad weather and are his memories of the place. You had me at chemical plants, let the gas flare flues of the Humber take me home.

To find out what the real Newport is like, we've not one but two Rough Guides: Miles Moss's contribution last season and Mike Dunderdale's from 2010. Mike's gets a special mention because it includes the magnificent Newport Transporter Bridge. Newport's squad for the game included a trip there this week and discovered an interesting nugget on the origins of their amber shirts that is sure to upset original/regular diary and anyone else that dislikes Wolves. 

Podge Amond has featured in the GY press in the lead up to the game. This has surprised some people. Move on; get over him; he only had one decent season.

What's the hurry? What exactly are we here for if not to breathe deep the precious few highs of being a Town fan? In case anyone hasn't been keeping count, 2016 is our single success in twenty years. I'm in absolutely no rush to get back to the present or the future. If I do, I might have to muse on subjects like booing current players or anticipating a mid-table finish in division four.

Don't worry about me, if I want to bask in it for a while, leave me to it. Podge was a huge part of 2016. The goals, the song, all of it. Bring me back to Wembley right now in fact. The hard-back volumes of prose from a career such as Waters, Macca or Disley are treasured but that doesn't mean I'm not going to swoon at the poetry of Podge or other short GTFC careers. Ivano Bonetti was only here for 19 games and I'm not ready to move on from him either.

For us Mitch Rose may be fit again to face his former team. Summerfield and Berrett is a long way from being Cunnington and Cockerill (in spelling and in other ways too) but they may have done enough in the Yeovil win to keep Rose out of the side. Newport went to the trouble of improving the Rodney Parade pitch by, err, levelling it and putting grass on it. It would be rude not to use it Town.

Completing the list of old friends is Lennie Lawrence. He joined Newport at the end of last season as 'First Team Management Consultant'. Now there is a blast from the past that I would be happy not to think about.