Cod Almighty | Diary

Going to sea in a sieve

8 January 2018

Miss Guest Diary writes: Did you know that in Tudor times young princes were accompanied to lessons by a commoner who was there to take the punishment on their behalf if they misbehaved? This is where the expression 'whipping boy' originates. On Saturday I used my own version of this tradition to send someone along to Blundell Park to sit in my seat and take the punishment of watching Sladeball for 90 minutes while I stayed home in the warm. I fear that I won't be able to secure this service again any time soon, so my seat may well remain empty until Slade gets his marching orders.

I will feel a little guilty knowing there are fans out there who live too far away to get to many games, or who have to ration their attendances for financial or other reasons, and who would jump at any chance to see Town play. But the older I get the easier I find it to stop doing unpleasant things merely out of some misplaced sense of guilt or duty. And, believe me, watching Town this season has become increasingly unpleasant. Not least because of the negative atmosphere created by all the anger and frustration boiling around Blundell Park.

Some fans seem to believe that Town are having trouble winning – or even scoring a goal – because the squad is sub-standard. Well, I have seen most of the other teams in our division this season and their players seemed much of a muchness with ours. The difference has been in the tactics – or in Town's case, the lack thereof – and signing a new striker won't help with that.

It's all very well for Russell Slade to waffle on to John Tondeur about negative momentum, but the simple fact is that sending those players out onto the field with no discernible plan of attack is like sending a boat onto the high seas with no rudder and a broken mast. Yes, it will occasionally drift in the right direction, but if it hits the rocks there's no way to get it back afloat.

Likewise with Town. The sole tactic seems to be to 'stay in the game' and hope to score on the break or from a set piece. When this happens, as against Mansfield or Forest Green, we can sometimes hang on for a result. But if the opposition scores an early goal, as happened at Crewe and again on Saturday against Morecambe, Town are sunk. Mixing my nautical metaphors horribly here – Town are up the creek without a paddle. Slade's only suggestion for turning things round seems to be that the team should work harder. The current thinking these days, though, is that success is all about working smarter, not harder: something that seems unlikely to happen under the current regime.

Some of the unpleasantness in supporting Town this season comes from the sheer boredom of watching Slade's style of play. But, for me, it mostly comes from seeing the players work their socks off trying and failing to make something out of the Micawberish tactics and then getting blamed for not being good enough or not trying hard enough.

Surprisingly, though, the Pontoon has seemed very reluctant to boo the players after the last couple of losses at Blundell Park. Hopefully fans are recognising that the fault lies with the chief engineer, not the deckhands.