Match stats: Grimsby v Exeter City

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 24 February 2018

Division 4

Grimsby Town 0

Exeter City 1 Stockley (37 pen)

Attendance: 4151 (148 away fans)

Sponsors' man of the match: Harry Clifton

The fur-lined merchant munchers took their hats off to Harry Clifton, though it may sound cruel to the others who stayed on the pitch for longer. They like a local lad over a loanee.

Cod Almighty man of the match: Harry Clifton

Well, we say hats off to Harry Clifton too. I know this may sound strange but we want you back as we think you've changed the vibe with vim and verve.

Our gaffer says

C'mon, what do we expect the Toll Bar troubadour to say? He's disappointed, he sees signs of hope, they'll work hard, he's happy with the Harrys. It may be inane but at least it isn't embarassing and insulting our intelligence. And he's nice to John Tondeur, which should be the first rule of Fenty's Fright Club.

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Their gaffer says

The Grecian gabbler wisely avoided talking about the game and just laid a little bit of love the way of the travelling supporters. It's a long, long way to come and go in the pursuit of happiness and Tisdale tickled their chins thusly:

"we just sit on our coach and switch off but, for those people making that journey, it was a terrific journey to make"

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Us

One day last summer Town went swimming off the Fitties. At first the trippers looked out to sea and saw a human shape bobbing gently. They assumed Town were safe, enjoying the calm, still waters just off-shore. After a while they noticed Town was still there. They grew concerned. They called the coastguard. The coastguard looked at its radar, looked at the weather charts and assumed nothing could possibly be amiss so close to safety. But the shape was still bobbing, drifting on the tide. Someone called again as family members started to panic. A helicopter was sent out and threw down a life-raft.

It's too late, a dead body can't get into a life-raft. It's dead, simply waiting for the tide to wash it ashore in Bananaramaland, or just sink to the bottom and never be seen again.

Harry Clifton was fine though.

Them

Exeter were slightly more accurate in their passing than Cambridge. And that's all.

The dilatory Devonians had no efforts on target all game and only a couple off-target. They hardly set foot in Town's half. Brown and his hair were annoyingly in the way of everything, but apart from that they were immensely unimpressive and barely more than stuffed shirts standing on the pitch.

Good times and bad times, we know they've had their share, but in the days of our youth teams like this would have skulked out of the bottom of this league, not the top.

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

Relatives dutifully sitting by the comatose patient, waiting for the end.

Official warning

Mr A Haines

The raspberry rodent had the air of a man who wished to avoid controversy, forever seeking out excuses to give free kicks to the defending team. It's a mark of his success that he did so while giving two penalties and sending a silly sausage off to the sin bin. Some things, like a Town defeat, cannot be avoided no matter what the intentions of all parties concerned and all concerned parties. The man whistled and pointed in all the right places: 7.732, that’s all.

Readers' digest

Fizzing and fishing, Harrying nicely, but paying the penalty for Russ's rotten recruitment.

In a word: pointless

Line-ups

Town: McKeown, Mills, Clarke, Collins, Dixon (Vernam 84), Clifton (Dembele 76), Berrett, Rose, Jaiyesimi, Hooper (Matt 63), Cardwell.

Subs not used: Killip, Osborne, Suliman, Kelly

Booked: Dixon

Exeter City: Pym, Wilson, Moore-Taylor, Moxey, Harley, Tillson, Boeteng (James 83), Holmes (Storey 89), Stockley, Taylor

Subs not used: Jones, Woodman, Edwards, Jay, Simpson

Booked: Moore-Taylor

Sent Off: Wilson