Cod Almighty | Diary

Brunton Park will be fine. Getting there will be tricky

2 March 2018

Wicklow Diary writes: Let's avoid the obvious flooding/sinking ship open goal and talk about the bigger picture. Football. It's all gone Pete Tong hasn't it. Winter breaks. We've tried that, we call them FA Cup weekends. They are rubbish. It's either B&Q or some mug friend trying to tell you to give rugby a go. Before we even get to the financial implications, what will we do with another two free Saturdays? Lower league clubs that generally get knocked out of the cup early should have had two votes in this decision. Town should have had four.

Like the suckers we are, we're being sold the 'it will be good for the England team' line. Again. Genuinely, who gives a monkeys about the national team anyway? A Russian and then a Qatari World Cup will finish international football off for good. It's difficult to cheer the football while your mind wrestles with human rights abuse, cheating and dirty money. Difficult but obviously not impossible, as evidenced by fans of Man City, Chelsea, PSG, Barcelona, *insert big club here*.

Winter breaks are coming but VAR is already here. Roll back the clock a couple of minutes to when you were last thinking about Nathan Arnold's goal. I start with Diz, you? Ok brain, roll it. Diz lays it off bringing order to the pinball, Nolan strides, Hoban hits and spins, Nathan shimmies and stabs. YESSS-wait. The ref is calling for the VAR. He doesn't think there is an offside but with the rebound he can't be sure. There may also have been a push somewhere in the pinball. Two minutes of shrugging and shuffling and checking your phone and the ref awards the goal. Not quite the bum slide into the corner flag moment that we'll all remember, is it? VAR will perform the impossible by making us look back fondly on goal music's jarring interruption.

We don't need VAR to ruin Nathan's moment, do we? We've got our own wrecking ball in the shape of Johnny Fenty

Of course, we don't need VAR to ruin Nathan's moment, do we? We've got our own wrecking ball in the shape of Johnny Fenty. I was one of the last to leave our section after the Wembley PO win. Drinking it all in. Eventually the stewards realised I was holding up the kids and not, as I claimed, the other way round.

It's a cliché to say a weight had been lifted but it was the truth among the other stragglers on Wembley Way. Bouncing not walking, not a hunched shoulder or bowed head in sight. One of the stragglers happened to be a wide-eyed and joyous Retro Diary. We had a hug and he shared his joy, excitement, relief and more joy. And not just for himself and us. For John Fenty. Yes, that John Fenty. Yet, I got what he was saying. Who could sleep at night thinking about the complete hash he'd made of the club. When he did get to sleep, he'd wake up every morning and have three seconds of calm before remembering 'oh crumbs, Hayes & Yeading?' and drawing the duvet over his head again. Non-League. His legacy.

Looking back at this in the current light, I can't believe I was taken in. Stockholm syndrome at its most potent, a kidnappee cheering the kidnapper's getaway from the police. When you've been on hold to the bank over a dodgy fee and spoken to 35 customer care agents, you don't celebrate at the end. You call them a twat and tell them you're off to Barclays. We should have, of course, celebrated Nathan's goal. Then kicked Fenty in the nuts after it.

So, the man who took 12 games to sack Russell Slade is now stuck on his successor as we circle the drain. The man without a plan is tripping over words and phrases that he pretends to understand like 'diligence' and 'pulling together'. After missing out on the process by simply giving his mate a job last time, he's getting a chance to revel and roll in his own muck this time. This is the part where he gets to feel really important by rubbing shoulders with Sol and the boys. Confused that Stevie G or a Neville brother doesn't want to swap the pundit couch for a poisoned chalice.

Did you hear him on Radio Humberside? We're looking for players looking to get into management. Candidates like Brian Laws. He actually said Brian Laws. Twice. Brian Bloody Laws. Doesn't this utterance undermine his claims to be a fan of GTFC? Maybe he only started 'supporting' in 1999 when he joined the board. Either way, consider this: the man picking our next manager is looking at Bonetti's cheekbone, relegation, Mark 'Freemo' Flatts and the other mistakes as Laws learned his trade and saying let's have some of that. I know it was Swain in charge but it was Laws' relegation. Just like this one will belong to Slade. 

Rumours bob about. We've offered it to Phil Brown. I was wrong about Nathan definitely coming back but I've definitely been told it's Askey if he wants it. I saw Jolley in the queue at Steels. Surely just rumours though – such starkly differing candidates would suggest the board is panicking through a list of randomers. The appointment requires a long-term plan and strategy in harmony with Dave Roberts' vision. The board should be the leaders, providing the long-term vision and direction of the club. The macro, not the micro. That's why we don't daub a 'sack the board' banner every time we lose 0-1 at home. One game isn't their fault. 15 years of bad results on the other hand?

Managers are a cog in the YDA vision. We don't want managers that bring their own conflicting philosophy and approach. The manager has to be a cog that we can swap in and out as necessary without having to rebuild the whole engine. Important cogs but a cog nonetheless in a club founded on community, youth development and football the right way. Is a board that is fluttering its eyelashes at Sol Campbell and occupied with trying to ban supporters for cracking bad jokes on social media capable of doing that?

There might be a game on tomorrow. Carlisle have a team of volunteers clearing the snow off their pitch as I type. Good work lads, can you make a start on the A180 approaches when you're done there?