The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

GDPR? Never heard of 'em, but I bet the CBP shit 'em

25 May 2018

Will Town's next big announcement be an Italian or German signing? The bloke down the club says Errea, the bloke down the pub says Puma. If it is Puma, you can add poker face to football, cycling and all-round nice guy to the CV of Dave Smith. Last month, Dave informed the CA Football Kits Department that GTFC would be sticking with the Italian manufacturer for an eleventh season. He's still a winger at heart isn't he? Bound to throw you a dummy now and then. 

The benefit of Errea designs is they are bespoke. That's only a good thing if they are good designs. You can't do much with stripes without the whole affair getting a bit busy but we could probably do with a change after ten years. Plus, after a few away games and a 'we're going to bounce in a minute', my shirt ends up looking like the dog chewed it and then slept on it for a month. Sort it Erreas. Or Puma. While you're at it, get the stripes back on the back and give us a long sleeve option. 

If kits are your thing, visit Museum of Jerseys for a celebration of kit fact and fantasy. In the latter category, curator Denis has mocked up how Town may have looked in the classic Hummel kit template of the 80s.

Ace. The socks aren't red but look at those nifty stripes. An excellent site and resource. I mean, what kind of monster can sleep at night not knowing why Peter Shilton played in a Scottish jersey or how the home nations would look if they swapped kit manufacturers down the years? Lose yourself there this afternoon in the art of kits.

If shirt fashions aren't your thing, sorry but it is the end of May and the manager is on holiday. We're up against it. The club have their ducks in a row when it comes to scuppering organs such as ourselves, too. Yesterday they confirmed Chris Clements' departure, or rather our not "re-engaging with midfielder", just after Devon Diary had hit save. The crafty gits: the article date suggests it's been sitting in the BP drafts folder since 9 May.

Clements released

Clements released

Last Friday evening, the club waited for the Telegraph printers to roll on Saturday's paper before releasing the news that Andrew Fox had signed. I feel for the local press but it's more evidence that modern life is rubbish. Back when I were a lad, the magical Sports Telegraph was available ten minutes before kick-off with a full match report and pictures. You could skip the game altogether if you didn't like the look of it.

Apart from kits, you could fill the void by listening to a nice Matt Dean interview with Ben Davies. He's a good lad and must have been very close to earning himself another year. He's had offers from elsewhere already but none from close to his GY home. It's usually the other way round, innit? All the best in getting sorted to a talented and likeable player. 

Let's end on something silly. We've had fantasy kits, why not fantasy names as well. It shouldn't be just entertainers and Brazilian internationals that get stage names. What names or nicknames could we give to Town players, popular or otherwise? If His Maccaness the McDermott was Brazilian, he would no doubt have a name to convey he who escaped from the north-east and defends exceptionally without the muddying of shorts with richness and depth. Yet still short enough to fit across the back of a pristine shirt, obviously. They'd certainly go to more trouble than, "McDermott? Macca it is then". We eventually did slightly better with Craig Disley, moving from Dizza towards the Ginger Pirlo and echoing the spirit of Ronaldinho ("little Ronaldo"). 

After that, there's a dearth of decent, original names. 'Cannonball' Cockerill was a favourite for my dad and going back even further a cracking Pat Glover article here and here in Charles Buchan's Football Monthly reveals 'Star' Bestall and the marvellous 'Swerver' Craven.

So give us your nicknames but be warned. The first one to turn the air blue with Barry Conlon's nickname will get a thousand lines.