Cod Almighty | Match Report

by Paul Ketchley

10 January 2012

Cambridge United 0 Grimsby Town 1

Having got tickets for the Olympic tennis but missed out on the athletics, the resale site was a bad experience last Friday. "Never mind - look forward to your visit to the Shabbey stadium," came the word through the Twitter post.

It's not that bad really and at least the 400 Town fans got decent seating, which was a lot better than Peterborough had provided to away supporters at their cup tie on Sunday against Sunderland. The shabby Abbey is more Emirates-like than London Road in the way they treat visitors.

As usual the Cambridge crowd congregated in polite silence at the far end. Cambridge echoes with the sounds of silence. It must be the darkness, or maybe they don't want to disturb the neighbours. Town were in blue again and lined up: McKeown, Silk, Garner, Miller, Townsend, Coulson, Thanoj, Disley, Artus, Hearn, Elding. On the bench were Pearson, Makofo, McCartney, Duffy and Hughes-Mason.

The Town end welcomed the run through the team with the usual rousing applause. The Cambridge line-up was welcomed by a stunning silence from the far end. Are they all lambs in Cambridge?

Cambridge seem to have permanently given up on stripes, so this time it was like watching Wolves play Chelsea and they kicked off towards the Town end. Everything was ready to rumble, drum in place, everyone in good voice, hand clapping ready, so when someone unchecked the mute box on the sound system, the Pontoon was transported south as a wall of sound erupted. Phil Spector would have approved. Apart from a brief interlude at half time it continued at the same level for the next two hours.

First half
Cambridge kicked off and kept possession for the first ten minutes with some impressive flicks and short passing. Everything, including the decisions, went their way. Just to make it easier for them Town regularly conceded possession and the action was all in front of the vocal end. They had several good chances, one of which was tipped over the bar by McKeown and another turned past the post.

The referee also awarded a couple of free kicks just outside the Town penalty area in dangerous positions. However, the boys in gold had clearly not been watching the Sebastian Larsson masterclass video of set pieces which was set for their homework. Instead they had probably ducked out to watch Arsenal on the TV. It did them no good. They worked up the position from which Henry scored against Leeds and then put the ball wide of the post. McKeown tired of his thin red line performance and started to kick long as if to suggest that the idea was that the action ought to be at the other end.

Suddenly the tide turned and ran down to the other end of the ground as quickly as it runs away from Cleethorpes beach on a sunny afternoon. Elding picked up on a loose ball and was upended by a clutch of Cambridge players, including the goalkeeper and at least one defender. The referee, who was well up with play, was as decisive in pointing to the penalty spot as Chris Foy was in reaching for a red card for Vincent Kompany on Sunday. The Town end celebrated and there was passionate debate as to whether a red or yellow card would go with the penalty.

Meanwhile an unnoticed on-field review seemed to be taking place at the other end. The referee was persuaded to go and consult with the linesman and a lengthy debate took place in front of the Cambridge supporters. Maybe they don't sing and chant at Cambridge: they project Spock-like thought power towards the officials. If so, it worked. Incredibly the penalty decision was reversed and a drop ball awarded which was hoofed away from the danger area.

The Town machine clicked into higher gear and after 20 minutes won the first corner. It went long and was headed over the bar. From then on the action was pretty much in the Cambridge half. Coulson and Hearn combined to slide the ball across the front of the penalty area to Elding, who followed their lead by passing the ball just inside the left post and into the net. You'd have to say it was slightly against the balance of play, but it more than made up for the penalty decision.

Excitement gripped the Town ranks and everyone jumped up and down to see Elding jog back to the halfway line with his arms in the air in celebration. Mobile phones appeared to record the event and the sound system was turned up a few notches.

All Town's pressure came along the right, with Coulson cutting inside, Hearn outpacing defenders, Disley probing. The left was fallow ground, with Townsend patrolling unused ground in front of an unused stand. It was lonely on the left.

Thanoj managed to hit the bar in a long period of action at the far end and Artus took the ball off the toe of an opponent in the only moment of danger.

The noise levels increased, much to the dismay of one Town fan whose iPhone had gone walkabout in the celebrations. It seems smartphones have a mind of their own. The noise drowned out the ringtone when someone called the device. Anxiety levels were rising until it was seen lurking behind a burger pack in the row in front.

So we reached half time only one goal up when there had been chances to score two or three more. The whistle blew and the mute box was temporarily checked on the sound system.

Stu's half-time toilet talk
"This referee wants to make his mark on the game."
"That referee has made his mark on the game."
"There's no point going for drinks - there's only one person serving a couple of hundred people in a queue."
"Y'know, I can see them fluking a goal sometime."

Second half
Unsurprisingly nobody made any changes at half time. For the first time for many years Town looked like a football team rather than a collection of individuals. There was purpose, passing and power in their play. Garner, plucked from obscurity like an antique pot found in a boot fair, was commanding at the back. Disley prompted and scurried in midfield. Hearn simply ran opponents off the park.

The second half was largely a re-run of the first with, all the action in front of the Town supporters. Hearn and Coulson drove the ball across and through the penalty box only to evade attackers and defenders. Disley whirled through the penalty box from corners and glanced the ball over the bar.

Odd refereeing decisions continued. Handballs were ignored; Town players were tripped and it was overlooked; Hearn was adjudged to have committed a foul for standing between the ball and an opponent. You worried about some innocuous challenge in the penalty box and what might happen in the event that Cambridge got near to McKeown.

But the ball stayed mostly well inside the Cambridge half. The endless singing of the Town supporters raised a quiet murmur from the home end but it soon stopped. Soon the Cambridge passing game, which had been pretty slick in the first ten minutes, disintegrated. Passes went straight out of play, three times the ball was shanked over the roof of the stands and finally an intended shot was sliced wide for a throw-in. All of this was observed in utter silence by the Cambridge crowd.

Just to rub it in, Hearn, Coulson and Disley gave an exhibition of triangle passing for a couple of minutes by the corner flag in front of the Town end. It was, as someone later remarked, the sort of showboating you do at 6-0 up, not when it's 1-0. Eventually they got a bit bored by it and the ball was put behind for a goal kick. None of the defenders got near the ball. It was very impressive.

As the half drew to an end Cambridge launched one last effort in which Townsend and Garner were both booked and Cambridge managed to put the ball just past the outside of the Town goal, but by then they had been bullied out of the game.

Four minutes' injury time made no difference and when the final whistle went the Cambridge players were flat out on the pitch. There was long applause from the travelling support and much fist-clenching and air-punching from the players.

Support the sleepover at Blundell Park
Looking forward a bit, Paul Cornell tells us that Grimsby and Cleethorpes YMCA is doing another sleepover at Blundell Park on the night of Friday 4 February. Presumably it means the mild winter is bound to come to an end. Last year they raised £15,000 for local young homeless people and this year they're hoping to raise £25,000. So get yourself along to their website and find out how you can help support a very deserving local cause. Evidently they won't be doing a bucket collection on matchday this year.