Cod Almighty | Diary
It's a must-win game if we want to get three points.
28 September 2018
Wicklow Diary writes: Tomorrow's game with Morecambe is being billed as a relegation battle by some fans. Ok, it was BatchysYfronts1878 on the Fishy but he's still a fan, I heard him tell Burnsy we sounded awful last week. The professionals at the Telegraph downplay it as 'crucial' and 'must-win'. It's exciting this, isn't it? If both Notts or Macclesfield win and Football League executive Shaun Harvey decides to end the league in September, Town would be relegated. Could happen I suppose. The league seems to start earlier every season, maybe it will end early too.
Keen scholars of GTFC's 140 year history will recall the last time we sacked a manager in September, when we binned the clueless Alan Buckley in 2008. The brave non-chairman who staunchly defied BatchysYfronts1878's demands to sack Paul Hurst in 2016 was a mere chairman back then. When faced with actual people shouting mean things at him in 2008 he consulted his trusty Football Club Ownership For Dummies and sacked the manager. There's a whole chapter in there about making the decisions you are expected to make rather than the ones you should make.
We'll never know if 2008's run was one of the extended blips that both Alan Buckley I and II experienced or a terminal decline. Maybe there is an alternative universe where John Fenty shrugged off the ridiculous Kevin Ellison hat-trick and stuck with AB III. With Town back in division two. Playing attractive football at the Conoco Stadium in front of 3,000 bored fans every week. At least the new manager bounce in 2008 meant that we only had to wait another 11 games before our first victory of the season in November.
If Ellison repeats the trick tomorrow and John Fenty cedes to a baying mob on the Fishy or the Upper Findus, there's always a job for you here, Michael. I'm going to guess it's a record that when Russell Slade was in charge last season, GTFC had four ex-managers employed in some sort of capacity. It's like the Liverpool bootroom of the 1970/80s. In, err, reverse. Just make sure your departure doesn't end up in court with you alleging that a tipsy chairman smashed the place up and grabbed you by the tie.
So what are our chances tomorrow? Ellison always scores against us, so by my reckoning we're going to need to score at least two goals. They've got Zak Mills, too. After 30 years of watching chaos rain down from opposition long throws, Zak's arrival in 2016 came with a YouTube showreel suggested that we'd finally be lobbing a few bombs of our own. Zak bombed alright, in a bad Broadway show kind of way and not in the Rory Delap throw-in of mass destruction way. This season, Mitch Rose is doing the same as Zak. Our long throws are not long enough. They plop to the near corner of the six-yard box where we have one man competing with two or three defenders. Sort it Jolleys. Get it on the deck and trust the players. We have skill in the side.
What's the team news. Jordan Cook might be back. Good. Wes Thomas looks like the player we've needed for a while. He held the ball up well last week without any support. So that's half the puzzle. A buzzing Cook or vooming Charlie V at home will cause problems next to Wes. At the back, the Telegraph reports that Akin Famewo had 'a clash of heads'. Worrying. In that no other player was mentioned. Does Akin have some strange anatomics going on?
What of the Town anatomy? 4-4-2, 4-4-1-1, 3-5-2, we've seen them all so far but should we just stick with what we know or more importantly, what the players know? We know that MJ consulted AB when he was getting his badges or summat but what exactly was said?
And Saint Michael raised the Mitre Delta up on high, saying, "O LORD Alan, bless this Thy Mitre that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD Alan did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chunks of fresh jumbo haddock. And the LORD Alan spake, saying, "First shalt thou find a Holy Rees of the Divine Back-heel and a St Neil of Wybers Woods. Then shalt thou count to four, no more, no less. four shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be four. Five shalt thou not count, neither count thou three, excepting that thou then proceed to four. Six is right out. Once the number four, being the fourth number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy four defenders and midfielders’ names on the teamsheet for they shall pass and move the Holy Delta of Mitre at great speed towards thy foe, who, being naught in My sight, shall snuff it by at least two goals to one."