Cod Almighty | Article

by Cod Almighty

4 October 2018

With the promise/threat of new episodes of Tommy of the Town, we've compiled all of last season's episodes into one article. Like the Archers Omnibus but not on the radio and about football (occasionally) and not farming (yet).  

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We trailed the series on 26 November 2017 with this teaser image. Tommy Targett is a club legend centre forward. You know, the kind of player that managers have to pick for fear of a fan backlash but then is the target of fan dissent when the club loses. Legs have gone, right?

We'd also put out the trailer in June 2016 and then done nothing with it, but this time we followed it up on 30 November with the first full strip, which introduced the club's chairman John Nunty. Note also a sneaky mention of fabled fan favourite D'Wayne Fandango (RIP). It also mentioned internet message board the Electronic Pisstake which would crop up in a later strip.

The very next day, we introduced the Town fans in a story which was a thinly veiled reference to Russell Slade letting Shaun Pearson leave in the summer.

On 2 December, Tommy made an appearance, falling foul of the chairman. It was of course a cheeky acknowledgement of Fenty's now legendary leather jacket and turtle neck sweater combo which made its first and only appearance at the monumental 2017 Fan Forum.

On 6 December we saw some actual football! This was one of the first strips put together back in 2016. A bit of a dig at fans who suggested that Disley's legs had gone and he was no longer capable of League football.

Nunty returned on On 12 December in a strip that Fenty's voting for the Trophy revamp and also his belief that all Town fans really want is fish and chips on sale at home games.

On 14 December we were introduced to Sneaky Tenbellies, a tricky winger who the club had brought in for no other reason than to sell on for a tidy profit. Kind of like that chap Dembele. Remember him? It was also the first time we saw manager Gary Gaffer, who may have looked a little like Russell Slade.

A week later on 21 December, we met the hardest hardcore fans –the Clee Ultras. This was a longer strip than previous, probably due to the overuse of the word yob. Tommy mentioned a Barry in this strip who was meant to be a journeyman striker with a penchant for boozing and borrowing buses and other vehicles. He didn't crop up again; neither did the Clee Ultras.   

The next strip didn't appear until the new year, 3 January to be exact. It introduced local journalist Matt D'ner, a tribute to former Telegraph scribe Matt Dannatt whose name we all wanted to be pronounced with a French accent. The story though was clearly about the sorry episode involving Matt Dean reporting the news and Russell Slade and the board acting like school bullies. They should have all resigned.

On 9 January we saw D'ner asking Gaffer about young striker Salvador D'Iadora who had been at the club for a while but was unable to play due to problems with his work permit. It's unlikely this was a reference to the plight of Ahkeem Rose but the strip did include a mention of Gamibia, a country invented by whoever did digital media for Town back in 2005. 

The strips were coming thick and fast at this point, the next arriving but two days later. It took the piss out of GTFC Unity, a joint initiative by the club and Trust which unfortunately looked as though it included an incredibly rude word on both the promo image and hashtag. The more eagle-eyed amongst you will have seen us introduce Town Independent Fan Folks, a sort of supporters trust. We meant to do a story around that but, er.. forgot.

The next trip came on 17 January and was a long-winded piss-take of the club specifying in a job advert that a new Supporters' Liaison Officer should not be a member of any pressure groups. It also mentions a Code of Conduct. Do not ask us to tell you about that..

On 25 January, thanks to the magic of comics and all that, we jumped forward eight years to see how Town are doing. It gently mocked Fenty partnering with Extreme Leisure (the BMX Bandits) to deliver a new stadium and also included another dig at Slade's childish behaviour at the Fan Forum.

A few days later, we chucked out this single panel suggesting that relegation would enable us a second chance to capitalise on the euphoria of promotion.

Ah, Mario! We introduced Mario Lasagne, clearly a take on Ivano Bonetti on 31 January. Gaffer's disdain in the final was a nod to Slade's now legendary 'Frenchman' interview.

The club was promoting an evening with former Burnley player and Hull manager Mike Phelan and so on 1 February, we spoofed it with this evening without Gary Gaffer because that's just the sort of thing we do. 

It all got kind of serious on 12 February as we introduced Danny Southill, a first year pro struggling to get a break in the first team despite tearing up trees in the reserve team. This came a few days after Russell Slade threw on young Harry Clifton for a couple of minutes at Yeovil with Town 3-0 down, inspiring Baz Whittleton to declare the manager a "thunderous fucking arsehole" before making a now famous call to Radio Humberside.

On 20 February, like Fenty and Slade, Nunty sacked Gary Gaffer as fans got sick of a dismal run of defeats. The strip included a reference to the previous manager's signings being sent to play for a relegation rival, coincidentally something which had happened at Town as Chris Clements joined Forest Green.

The next strip looked at the reaction of fans in their online forum, the Electronic Pisstake. In the story, chairman Nunty threatened to sue the admin team who bottled it, closed it down and started again as The Pissy.

On 25 February we got some insight into Nunty's search for a new manager. You'll find out who he appointed in season two of Tommy of the Town!

Cod Almighty received a letter from R. McIlveen (age 58) asking us about a Tommy of the Town Fan Club. Well, we couldn't ignore that, could we? and so on 8 March the Tommy Fan Club was launched! If only this was real, right?

The final episode of the season came on 18 March. A WW2 mine was found floating in the Humber and as life mirrors art, this was also reported by the Telegraph. Well, we think that's the order it all happened in.

  

 

And that's it. Or maybe it isn't..

Stay tuned for season two of Tommy of the Town, readers!