Cod Almighty | Diary

Talking 'bout my generation

31 October 2018

Today's diary is likely to be accompanied by suitable sound effects from Daily Telegraph readers. Other age-based stereotypes are available but bear in mind that this is Middle-Aged Diary writing, and that is a name which is increasingly anachronistic.

Last night, the Grimsby Town youth team were beaten 3-2 in the first round of the FA Youth Cup, despite having led 2-0 at half time. Tut. Youth of today. When I was their age, I was... actually, let's not go there. Let's just say no-one in their right mind would have put me anywhere near a professional football set-up (or even Grimsby Town).

Perhaps Neil Woods' young men can take a lesson from the Grimsby Ancient Mariners Walking Football Team, who last week won a Compass FM community sporting achievement award. Secretary Peter Cribb says they all felt 10 feet tall when it was announced they had won, but I'm sure they all have a surprisingly good touch for big men. Is Gordon Walker the tallest ever Town player?

Not quite ready to join the walking footballers is former Town midfielder Terry Fleming (43 appearances and two goals in 2004-05). The 45-year-old came out of retirement not to score Mansfield youth's winning goal but to make up the numbers for Matlock Town, who had 13 players unavailable.

"Unavailable" does not mean quite what you might expect in the Northern Premier League though. A couple of years ago, watching Glossop, I observed that their defence seemed a bit uncertain. I was told their their best defender was babysitting that night, for a game where they needed a draw to get a play-off place. So you can still have your priorities straight, even in football.

Right I'm off to write a long letter to the Telegraph demanding Mike Jolley pick Harry Clifton's grandfather for the trip to Cambridge, then dust down my cine footage of Sir Stanley Matthews.

See you.