Cod Almighty | Diary

Not rubbing our hands but rubbing our faces and yawning

13 November 2018

Tell me, are you rubbing your hands in anticipation of tonight's game at Blundell Park? Lee Ryder of the Newcastle Chronicle thinks you should be. He has been covering Newcastle since 2005 and, judging from his picture, is old enough to remember at least Justin Whittle and Jim Dobbin, if not Kevin Drinkell. If he is too young to remember our win at St James' Park in 1984, he might care to ask Kevin Keegan, who will certainly remember Bobby Cumming. In short, Grimsby have a decent enough history against Newcastle's first team that we don't need to go all weak at the knees at the prospect of facing their stiffs.

The internet demands copy even when there is not a lot to say. That usually means bloat and boostering, so I've some sympathy for Ryder. But when he goes on to write that Town have "already" let in 23 goals, you wonder if the pressure of a tight deadline is getting to him. Middle-Aged Diary concedes that it is praising with faint damns, but for a team 21st in their table, 23 goals conceded is a pretty decent record. Better than all the teams below us and a fair few above.

When Ryder goes on to to pass off Michael Jolley's post-match quotes from our FA Cip tie last Saturday as evidence that our manager is looking forward to tonight's game, despite Jolley not actually mentioning Newcastle, it is clear we are dealing with a chronic case of 'Billy big club bollocks'. The best way we can teach Ryder some humility is to stay away tonight.

Turning to proper competitions, Grimsby were last night drawn in the second round of the FA Cup away to the winner of the first-round tie between Billericay Town and Chesterfield. It can't be helped that their first game was drawn. Indeed, looking at Chesterfield's five consecutive league draws, it was almost inevitable. However, the replay won't be played until 20 November, and then we will be subject to the vagaries of the BBC deciding whether the game should be played on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.

And if Billericay – top of the Conference South – beat Chesterfield, then no doubt the difficulties faced by match-going fans in getting to Essex and back by public transport on a Friday night or Sunday afternoon will be factored in to the BBC's thinking. No doubt at all.