Cod Almighty | Diary
Just give me a big hug
16 November 2018
I laid out all the stats. I did all the digging, all the thinking and presented you with every reason to suggest that we'd lose last week's FA Cup tie against the fake Dons. I even went into great detail of how we'd lose – and then, in a move that was borderline unacceptable for a so-called fan like myself, I even suggested that the match wasn't worth going to (before justifying attendance in the very last paragraph, just so I avoided being tarred and feathered as a fair weather fan).
And then we went and won. I guess that's why we love sport, and why we love the Mariners, because even when we reach the depths of despair and the stars align to point the way towards another boring defeat, we can pull something out of the bag.
Contrary to probable belief, your West Yorkshire Diary is never more delighted than when Town prove me wrong. I'm not suggesting that my negativity was in fact some kind of subconscious effort to positively jinx proceedings, but that's what appeared to happen. Once the Mariners fell behind I even had the temerity to declare, totally sarcastically, that we would come from behind to win since our traditionally excellent first half defensive record had been dented by Kieran Agard's goal. Clearly, the FA Cup was destined to invert our predictability, and so the second half comeback occurred.
But the biggest surprise of the afternoon was that Carl Boyeson's performance went unmentioned by all and sundry, which means only one of two things: either it wasn't him officiating the match after all, or he'd overdosed on competency pills and didn't put a foot wrong. But if anyone had overdosed on anything, it was most likely Tony Butcher on generosity pills, who described Boyeson's performance as 'shockingly adequate' and gave him an eye-wateringly high mark of 7.094. The thing that makes me nervous about that is that, in the interests of balance, his next return as an official for one of our matches is destined to be bad enough to drive that average way back down to where we've come to expect it.
After having the pleasure of previewing last weekend's match against an abhorrent club, I now have the duty to preview this weekend's match against a not-quite-so-abhorrent club (but still in the realms of unlikeable because, you know, Steve Evans managed them for a bit and they acted like Billy Big Bollocks back in the day when they marched into the Football League). It now appears as though they've found their natural level, although it's only fair to point out that their mid-table mediocrity on considerably smaller attendances that ours is still better than what we're currently achieving.
We've come up against Crawley on six occasions but the only time we've managed to beat them was in our very first meeting, which was also our very first match as a non-League club. Lee Peacock scored the only goal of the game at the Broadfield Stadium – a game that featured the likes of Lee Ridley, Darran Kempson, Steven Watt, Michael Leary and Rob Eagle. I don't wish to be unfair on any of those players but, Jesus Christ, that's a world away from Shaun Pearson, Craig Disley, Nathan Arnold, Podge Amond and Omar Bogle.
Just a few short years on from their achievements, we've ripped through about 75 more players and none have stuck around to win places in our hearts. The majority have been truly forgettable although, personally, I'll struggle to forget Gavin Gunning in a hurry. Of the current first team crop, it's hard to see who'll still be with us in a year's time, let alone two. Some of Rob Scott and Paul Hurst's first signings became the spine of our team for years to come. James McKeown, Pearson and Disley signed in 2011 and were there on the Wembley turf, five years on, celebrating the promotion we all craved.
Not wanting to be unfair on Jolley but I'm struggling to see the spine he's building. But then, three months into the 2011-12 season I think we'd have all struggled to see that McKeown, Pearson and Disley would be stellar stalwarts for seasons to come (particularly Shaun, who, from memory, had a fairly poor first season).
Having rightly used the midweek Rated People Trophy match against Newcastle's B team to give fringe players (and previously crocked individuals) the chance to improve their match fitness, it means Mitch Rose and Alex Whitmore are in contention for a start tomorrow – and I’d imagine Rose is most likely to nudge his way back into the first team since we’ll be without the excellent Elliot Embleton, who’s away on international duty. Reece Hall-Johnson is out with a pulled groin.
If you didn’t read yesterday’s diary, I recommend you do. It got me thinking… football seems to be spiralling interminably to a point where the gulfs between leagues are becoming so vast that they’re soon going to be insurmountable, and that’ll effectively make promotions and relegations obsolete. Teams that fall out of the Premier League are most likely to return the following season given the huge financial advantage they’re given in the form of parachute payments. Clubs that currently exist in the third and fourth divisions are going to be stuck there. There will be less jostling, fewer clubs moving right up and down the league structure and teams will be locked into place by the astronomical amounts of cash that’s traded exclusively between the very top clubs in this country.
If we have no hope of ever rising to the top by making good decisions and building good football teams on sustainable foundations then it kind of makes you wonder what there is to actually play for. Well, in the short term it’s three points. In the long term… god knows. A part of me wants this breakaway European super league to happen, so we can rid this country of it’s greediest clubs and get back to a system where we have four fluid professional leagues that give more than just two or three rich clubs a chance of winning.
UTM!