Cod Almighty | Match Report

by Mike Worden

17 September 2011

Stockport County 2 Grimsby Town 0

Edgeley Park, Stockport. A proper football ground at last. None of this crinkly tin sheds on the edge of some small town nonsense, this is a decent ground for playing and watching football and the scene of many Town visits in our glorious League days.

About 500 Town fans gathered on the open railway end under threatening skies. It's been a while since we were allocated this stand and seats have been added since. On most of our visits over the last decade we have been allocated the covered side stand. "Think it might chuck it down, lets put the Grimsby fans outside today". The pitch looked excellent, no sign of the missing Edgeley Cobra.

Town ran out in unfamiliar white shirts and shorts and red socks, Stockport in unfamiliar blue and white stripes. Mckeown was in goal; Kempson, Pearson, Green and Wood in defence; Artus and Disley in the middle; Mafoko and Coulson out wide left and right respectively and Duffy and the hitman Hearn up front. 4-4-2 was the surprise formation.

First half

The Mariners started the first half kicking towards the big two tier Cheadle end. The flight path into Manchester Airport is right over the ground and every couple of minutes a plane loomed into view.

The opening period resembled a pre-season friendly. There wasn't much action, it was all a bit laid back. Perfect pitch and some sun.

That one's got propellers.

There seemed to be a bit of Shorty and Shouty plan, which was simple. Hit it long to the left hand corner and the forwards would chase it. This plan lasted the whole of the first half and didn't work once. Anyway on 12 minutes, down towards the left-hand corner, Serge and McConville challenged for the ball in quite a hard but fair way. Both players got up as play continued but something happened as Serge ran past McConville and the Stockport player fell to the ground. All the Hatters in the ground booed and demanded that Serge be shown red claiming he'd been elbowed. The ref Seb Stockbridge had been plane spotting and hadn't seen it which was fortunate for the Town player. After a long word with Serge and Disley, he just gave the 'cut it out' sign that only referees can do and the cards stayed in his pocket, much to annoyance of the County folk who then took it on to boo Serge all game.

That one's a bit low.

Town's frailities in dealing with crosses were exposed on 23 mins when a deep cross from the Stockport left came across the box. Green at left back missed it completely allowing McConville to shoot easily into the net past McKeown who had no chance. The former Accrington player turned and smiled at the Town fans who had been booing him since his rolling on the ground display after the Mafoko incident.

The reaction was to stick to the Shorty and Shouty plan. Hit it long to the left hand corner. It didn't work. On 29 minutes the referee booked Serge for allowing Disley to fall on him after he clashed with a Stockport player after going for the ball. Serge tried to ask what an earth he'd done wrong, but our Seb wasn't having any of it. First of all a Stockport player falls to the ground within 10 metres of your last known location and then you don't get out of the way quick enough when your team mate falls on top of you. That my son warrants a yellow card.

Blimey that was a big one.

Artus had a good run and shot on 32 minutes and a couple of minutes later Duffy had an excellent chance to equalise when a cross came in from the right and he headed in well over the bar into the extensive space of the Cheadle end. A little while later Hearn hit well over the bar after being presented with an opportunity following a corner.

The first half had been disappointing. A fairly even period had been followed by us gifting Stockport a goal and us missing a golden chance to equalise. All in all though there were too many long balls being hit and hit high. It just wasn't working.

Second half

Stockport had a great chance to make it 2-0 when German sent in a cross but Paton, on loan from Aberdeen, headed wide when it would have been easier to score. Just after the Town defence gave County a second chance when two defenders collided letting Elliot beat the out rushing McKeown but no home player was there to tap Elliot's low cross across the goal in.

Soon after Town won a corner. First cries of 'Mariners, Mariners' from the open terrace, but Disley's corner was headed behind the goal and the second corner was easily caught by Glennon in the County goal, nicknamed 'wingnut' by the Town fans as a result of his unfeasibly large sticky out ears. Coincidentally a plane with funny upturned wings flew over.

Town started to look a little brighter now especially when playing it on the ground. An excellent ball on the ground was played forward to Hearn but his shot was saved. Soon after though a County attack down the right led to a cross coming into the box which Elliot headed unchallenged into the net. It was so similar to the Duffy chance in the first half. He missed his opportunity, Elliot took his.

A triple substitution followed. Duffy was replaced by the big framed Elding. Alright you know what we mean. Elding had two spells at Edgely Park, the most recent only last season. He got a mixed reception, some boos, some applause and a special song from the Cheadle end. Eagle replaced Mafoko and Church came on for Artus. Eagle's first task was to take a free kick following a foul on Coulson wide on the right, but it went straight into Glennon's arms.

Oh one of those little executive jet things. Very nice.

To their credit Town didn't give up for the rest of the game but the efforts on goal were not good enough. Church and Elding both had shots. Eagle sent over a number of corners but these were easily dealt with by the Stockport defence ably marshalled by new signing Chris Blackburn who starred at Wrexham last season but fell out with Dean Saunders in the Summer. In the last few minutes McKeown made a great save from Paton and at our end Coulson shot wide summing up a poor afternoon for him.

The winning run ended, halted by a workmanlike rather than impressive County side. Edgely Park was ripe for playing football on the ground, the pitch was wide, flat and like a bowling green. Instead the plan seemed to be to use long high balls and an obsession with hitting it to the corners. It didn't work and never looked like working. On the occasions when it was played on the deck, it looked much better. The game turned on crosses. Stockport took two of theirs after our defence failed to deal with them properly and we fluffed ours time and time again. Elliot taking a chance from almost the same spot and scenario as Duffy had missed his earlier summed it up.

Individually and collectively this was not a good performance. Coulson played far below what he is capable of, he should be terrorising Conference defences. Hearn and Duffy were largely ineffectual, Disley anonymous and Green will be kicking himself for the first goal. Kempson and Pearson were reasonable but should be more of an attacking force at corners. Church and Eagle showed promise when they came on and perhaps should have been on the field earlier.