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Cod Almighty | Diary

We need the football to figure out what day it is

28 December 2018

Wicklow Diary writes: Winter break? Bah! Christmas would be rubbish without football. For a start, we need the football to figure out what day it is. By elimination, today is Friday because tomorrow we're playing Exeter and two days ago Neil Aspin was whining about losing to Town.

Picking the Town side at St James Park may also involve a process of elimination. Medium Harry was the latest casualty during the victory at Port Vale and will miss at least two weeks with concussion after a nasty (is there any other kind?) kick in the face. Harry has been a big part of our success lately and will be missed. Take it easy and get well.

The injury toll could have been higher. Speedster Ahkeem Rose played on despite pulling up as if he'd twanged something twangy. Reece H-J also caused alarm. He went down in a heap, banging the turf in frustration and giving the twirly-finger I'm crocked, get the sub on signal. Dave Moore quickly confirmed the diagnosis and gave a twirly finger signal of his own. Player and physio twirlys? Add another month to the injury. Answers on a postcard as to how Reece hobbled, walked and then jogged across the pitch to inform the bench he could carry on.

Mattie Pollock could be in line for a debut to partner Alex Whitmore in defence tomorrow but as the Telegraph suggested yesterday, MJ might have other ideas involving different formations and every fan forum's favourite nightmare, <dramatic organ music> square pegs in round holes. If Pollock does play, at 17 years of age he will be the youngest Town first-teamer since Ryan Bennett. Blimey, Mattie was born in September 2001. There's stuff in the back of my fridge older than that. 

All these injury worries will be forgotten when the transfer window bursts open on Tuesday and every player who Michael Jolley coached or saw on the telly during his time in Sweden floods forth to join Town. He was going to phase in the arrivals over the next ten years but, you know, Brexit or something.

Norwegian Mariner Jos Jensen has the lowdown on the first of these, Sebastian Ring. A full-back, Ring's rumoured arrival would offset the rumoured departure of Andrew Fox. Foxy of course was the first acqusition with a Swedish connection when he signed in March. He's been likeable, capable and long-sleeve wearing since but everyone I met in GY last week told me the confidential, not to be shared information that he was off to the US because his US wife was homesick. 

There's a description of Ring in the thread that is either a dodgy Google translate jobbie or someone auditioning for a job on the official GTFC site. Regardless, we get a good picture of the player. Thanks for that Jos, and extra points for referring to Ring's "Kevin Jobling season" when he played 25 of 28 games without having his own position. 

To go with Foxy's rumoured departure, we have Louis Robles's confirmed exit. Down the pecking order, it's perhaps not a surprise to see him leave. Good luck to him in his post-Town endeavours. I suppose if we are acting out a 1988-89 reboot, then someone has to play the Tony Caldwell role.

What else is going on? The board chose a good time to bury good news by slipping in a day or two before Christmas that they'd voted against the continued inclusion of B-teams in the CheckaMate Trophy. We're a complicated lot here at Cod Almighty and it showed in how we greeted the news. Happiness and amazement fought with cynicism and suspicion as default levels of doom and despair looked on wearily.

Best case scenario? The board has made an early start on their new year's resolutions. Pushed away the last of the family pack of mince pies and the box of Quality Street and declared that the diet starts here. It would take a transformation that Dickens himself would have binned for being too far-fetched but we can hope. Mardy Diary will not be shy in telling us "I told you so" if and when normal service resumes and a board member punches some disabled fans or something.

In other club news, we've almost sold out our Palace allocation. A good effort when you consider the difficulty a 5.30pm kick-off presents and the expense of a trip to London. The kick-off does actually open other doors. West Ham entertain Birmingham at 12.30pm and are offering £10 adult and £1 kids tickets. I'd dismissed the idea of going until someone pointed out that ten quid is actually a cheap way to kill two hours in that London. Picturing Sullivan and Gold's creepy faces and the Olympic Stadium con, I'm still dismissing the idea. Just not as quickly.

For the match itself, the Palace programme editor is looking to cheat on his homework by getting us to hit him with GTFC facts. Now remember, nobody remembers the programmes notes unless someone slips an acrostic Fenty Out message in or puts Brock Lesnar as the club chairman. So get cracking.

That's yer lot. Safe trip to Exeter if you are going tomorrow. I'm not and it's a shame as football aside, it was a highlight of last season. A friendly club with great bars, they've completed their rebuild of the grandstand side and away end and I wanted to get a good look at what a fan-owned club could do with a tired ground in a residential area. Send us some pics if you go for future reference and UTM.