Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 16 March 2019

Division 4

Grimsby Town 0

Northampton Town 0

Attendance: 3890 (393 away fans)

What's that you say Mrs Sponsor's wife? Joltin' Jake has left and taken the pomagne away. Well, that's his way.

The Cobblers may have been plain and dumb in their artless aerial assaulting, but Danny Collins held his head up high to cloud their doubts and just get it out.

Our football philosopher rued the weather but avoided being rude about cobblers:

"Northampton have a particular style of play, and if ever there's a day that you don't want to play against a team who plays in that way then it's probably when the conditions are like that."

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Curlyman didn't say anything of interest to us, or the world:

"Conditions were difficult and I don't think either team was able to find any real fluidity."

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Carefully reconstructed walls, reinforced with some old Welsh stone and thick chunks of Nordic ice, easily withstood the sloppy, slappy siege engine.

Collins and Öhman batted back the ballistas and The Hess battered back the rammers as Town hung and clung as dung was flung. When the ball was on the ground something nearly happened once or twice, but this day was all about withstanding an alien attack as a wicked wind from the west blew, but our house didn't fall down.

Given that we're in an off month, that's a good thing.

Ponderous, no-dimensional Lincoln wannabees. Their only subtlety was in sly and sneaky referee management.
Pierre is impossibly impassably massive and not long for their world.

Huge, hulking oil tankers who only had eyes for throw-ins, they are more an aussie rules than association football team. The weather was with them but they still couldn't create anything from their destruction.

This bunch of bigballers are exactly the sort of team that sneak into the play-offs because everyone they play isn't that bothered anymore. They're just big and persistent. That shouldn't be enough for anything above ninth.

The lack of jeopardy is confusing us into a catatonic state. We can't even fulminate against untaxed flying forearms.

Mr O Yates (Staffs)

How can you take a ref called Ollie seriously?

You can't.

His laissez-faire approach is best described as loosely fair in its application. He annoyed everyone in small ways, and was clearly intent on avoiding 'big' decisions, like sending someone off for a forearm smash or awarding a penalty for the ball hitting a hand.

He could have been worse, a lot worse: 6.249

Throwing up cobblers.

In a word: blustery