Cod Almighty | Diary

Football has absolutely lost its shit

21 June 2019

If you’re a fan of daylight then today must be your favourite day of the year. Sixteen and a half hours of gloriously uninterrupted daylight are followed by just seven and a half hours of darkness – while dusk and dawn make sure a good portion of that time isn’t totally black.

And while your West Yorkshire Diary isn’t averse to warm summer days, my natural nocturnal nature insists that there’s very little that beats the walk home from a Saturday afternoon match at Blundell Park that finished under the floodlights; your frozen hands tucked deep into your pockets as your conversation about Town’s rotten finishing cuts through the crisp air in front of you, which is still laden with the faint smell of bonfire night.

Somewhat fittingly, then, the most sought-out fixture of next season’s list will be happening on my favourite day of the year, when seven and a half hours of daylight are followed by sixteen and a half hours of gloriously uninterrupted darkness. Let’s hope Jolley’s men give me extra reason to enjoy the winter solstice and leave Scunthorpe United fans phoning in to Radio Humberside to blast Paul Hurst for ever suggesting that they’d been spoiled by their previous successes in the leagues above.

Grimsby Town haven’t been in the light for some time. It’s difficult to tell whether this perpetual darkness is something we’re falling deeper into, or whether it’s something we’re climbing out of. Anything that we believed might have been genuine light in recent seasons – like when we won promotion at Wembley that time – is starting to feel more like someone flashing a torch in our faces at 2am, rather than sunlight peeking over the horizon.

The Mariners have completed three seasons since returning to the Football League and, broadly speaking, they’ve all been naff. In those 138 games we’ve scored 146 goals and finished 14th, 18th and 17th – that’s 1.06 goals and 1.22 points per game.

In our final three seasons of non-League, the Mariners scored 221 goals and finished 4th, 3rd and 4th – giving us 1.60 goals and 1.77 points per game. A lower standard of football against less traditional names in the game, maybe, but the goals flowed and the points were chalked up with unerring regularity. And I’m absolutely convinced that any of those squads between 2013 and 2016 – likely assembled on a lesser budget – would’ve been able to turn over any of those from 2017 to 2019.

But this season represents a new start, in many ways, for a manager who’s had the rare gift of time to cement his place at the club. His signings this summer will add to a core squad which he also developed, so the upcoming 46 games will be a reflection of his footballing principles and philosophies more than ever before.

Earlier this week, James Hanson became Jolley’s second summer signing. There’s no shortage of youthful exuberance in Town’s ranks – especially in our attacking players – but what’s needed most is some intelligence and know-how to knit it together. And that’s why Hanson is a canny addition to the squad.

Here’s what a Bradford fan had to say about our new number nine:

"Oh, Big Jim is superb. He’s the sort of man you want at your club. He’s injured far too often to build a team around, but he’s a player who has a lot to give. It’s the making the ball stick that he does well. Even if he doesn’t win possession, he refuses to be ignored and forces other teams to play a certain way – and that means he starts to define the game. If I had a daughter, I’d let Jim marry her."

Hanson, if fit and selected, will come up against his former club in Town’s first home game of the season. Following three days later is a home tie against Doncaster in the first round of the League Cup – a side we haven’t beaten (over 90 minutes) in nearly three decades. Our number was drawn by John Barnes down a fizzy drinks aisle in a Morrisons store somewhere in London because the football world sold a large lump of its soul a little while back and has therefore lost all sense of what’s normal and what’s utterly fucking weird.

Finally, before I sign off for today, I think we’d all like to wish Dave Smith and friends a safe and successful journey cycling from Blackpool Tower to the Dock Tower this weekend. They’re doing it to raise money for the Youth Development Association, which is a great effort, so why not make a donation and show your support for a very worthy cause.