Cod Almighty | Diary

You have to laugh, otherwise I'll cry

2 July 2019

After many years of neglect, the Grimsby Town rumour mill found itself in a sorry state recently. The cranks were rusty, the rollers pitted and askew, and the rumours turned out were of a very poor standard. Omar Bogle coming back to Blundell Park? Do your original/regular Diary a favour.

Earlier this summer that all changed. An ill-fated plan to replace the old rumour mill with a modern LED version quickly foundered, but once those rusty cranks were sawn off and the rest got a new lick of black and white paint, the accuracy of those rumours has been second to none. Matt Green? Why yes, my friend. James Hanson? Surely he'll go back to Bradford? My heavens, you were right. Moses Ogbu? And that's your hat-trick.

The superb new official rumour mill was all set to churn out a fourth consecutive accurate rumour yesterday in the shape of Yeovil Town's giant centre-half Omar Sowunmi. Just as the mill operators were about to congratulate themselves on another job well done, though, the player signed for Colchester instead. Equally disappointed is GTFC's stadium manager Nick Dale, who was hoping the player might be prepared to double as a back-up floodlight pylon.

At a time when there are more out-of-work football managers than you can deconstruct a flag at, and when they are better qualified than ever, we must take our hats off to Paul Wilkinson. Despite having zero wins to his name as Truro City manager in the six games he oversaw since his appointment in March, and zero wins as caretaker at both GTFC and Northampton Town, Wilko has landed the boss's job at Town's erstwhile fourth division counterparts Troubled Bury.

Given his status as an admired former Mariners centre-forward – and a local boy to boot – we will opt not to focus on the awkward issue of his victory-lite management career thus far, and instead admire the remarkable salesmanship skills that have convinced the Shakers to give him a go. Well played, Paul! If the football work ever dries up, a successful career in life coaching surely awaits.

If ever you needed a cheery case study in the difference between a community stadium and one of those flatpacks in the middle of nowhere, the Grimsby Telegraph can oblige. Not even the cast-iron certainty of a new ground out at Great Coates or Peaks Parkway would persuade potential entrepreneurs to give it a go nearby – but a local couple have opened up a café on Freeman Street inspired in part by the mere possibility of Town setting up shop in the area. And good luck to 'em. You can expect plenty more where that came from if the Stadio del Freemo goes ahead.

And finally today, the games next season which you expected would be switched to early kick-offs because of the overwhelming likelihood of men behaving like total dicks have been switched to early kick-offs because of the overwhelming likelihood of men behaving like total dicks. Pat on the back for men there.