Cod Almighty | Diary

What ransoms did the general coffers fill?

28 August 2019

Good morning, good morning, make every day a sunny day! It's your annual dose of Deviant Diary this bright morning after a night of fallacy most pathetic.

And the LORD sent thunder and hail, and lightning flashed down to the ground. So the LORD rained hail on the land of Blundell; hail fell and lightning flashed back and forth. It was the worst storm in all the land of Blundell since it got its mojo back. We'd come to bury Macclesfield, but this seventh plague of Egypt served as "signs and marvels" given by the footballing gods to answer Darren Drysdale's taunts. And lo, darkness for three days followed as football fell into a funk over Lancashire Ringers before the next round of Premiership games.

At least we're still in the cup, eh. And the league. And in existence.

Something must be done! Ah, but what? First ask yourself why. English football does not act in a vacuum: it exists within our society and our laws. We fans, those who pay money to watch it, have emotional attachments, but legally it's just a business. Let's have a cold look at the world in which we're living.

The road that leads to the Bury and Bolton implosions starts with you and me – who we vote for. Parliament decides what our laws are. Parliament passes laws which allow companies to own shares in companies who own shares in companies and be registered abroad so you can't tell who owns what. Parliament decides how much money is allocated to police the system which exists for controlling companies. Parliament decides what our insolvency rules are (hint: the last big legislative changes were in the Enterprise Act – the purpose was to make it easier for entrepreneurs to ditch debts and start again).

More rules, more oversight, more money spent employing people to police and monitor those rules. Yes, it comes down to the oldest and simplest of politics: how much tax are you prepared to pay, and who pays it.

Think on that when Britain becomes "free" to make its own rules. Who is going to be making those rules? What is their agenda? Light-touch, low-tax Monorailers?

The Something Must be Done merchants squeal and wail and seek someone to blame, but have no interest in asking that fundamental question: why?

The Football League is timid, but ultimately it is hamstrung by the laws of this land; specifically, the laws on competition and restraint of trade. And don't forget that the Football League is a limited company. English football clubs have to buy a share in the Football League to be part of it; and these clubs, collectively, choose who runs it and what its rules are. So it is the owners of the clubs who are stopping the Football League administrators from doing anything to fetter them. Self-interest, conflicts of self-interest. Something must be done!

There is even a perfectly logical argument to convert football into a franchise system in order to safeguard association football at its historic locations. But who do you trust?

Ah, supporters' trusts! The German model! Yeah, right. When the Mariners Trust had shares they didn't know what to do with them, were sweet-talked into a panic and gave them away.

The solutions? Well, do you wish to pay the price? Every solution will have its downsides.

The solution to last night's washout is another midweek game. Well, there are upsides too.