Cod Almighty | Diary
Notwithstanding a good pillorying
1 November 2019
Grimsby Town Football Club sprung into action first thing this morning to announce that it made a £150,000 profit last season. Your West Yorkshire Diary is confused by why two odd numbers added together always give an even number, so I'm really not able to explain what "central distributions" are.
But what I do understand is that last season's FA Cup run was financially beneficial to us, which makes sense, and the article mentions how the club has reinvested some of that profit into new floodlights, various ground improvements and the youth academy. All sounds good to me, but what it doesn't declare is what proportion of that profit went into the pocket of the directors — or one director in particular — to cover the cost of past failures.
Just under three years ago, the Mariners made the long trip down to Plymouth and won 3-0. Argyle went on to earn automatic promotion that season, and only missed out on the fourth division title by goal difference. In that time, Town sold Omar Bogle, signed 27 central midfielders, and sacked Marcus 'Bingo' Bignot for playing increasingly bizarre formations — although he could've been given the boot much earlier for thinking Gavin Gunning was a good idea.
That victory at Home Park was only Bignot's second game in charge and yet it was probably the peak of his Town career. Our season ebbed away rather pathetically and, after a heavy home defeat to Donny, his sacking made sense. Only it didn't happen until after we'd won impressively at Blackpool, so the timing — and subsequent appointment of Russell Slade — was as confusing as our tactics and line-ups.
Like literally every other fan of this club, I was desperate to see us back in the Football League when we were out of it. And yet the reality is that since making our return things have been a bit... well, shit. They have, haven't they?
The squad that worked so hard to earn the promotion we all craved was broken up. Our 37-goal striker was allowed to leave for nothing. Our manager walked when he wasn't given what he was promised. That period under Bignot still feels more like a very odd dream than reality. And the less said about Slade's second spell, the better.
Each and every season since being back in the fourth division has felt like a proper old slog. We've barely troubled the top half, flirted with relegation a couple of times and basically looked bereft of direction and identity. When Paul Hurst left for Shrewsbury, we were on the verge of the play-offs with Bogle the glue in a ramshackle squad. When Michael Jolley led our charge to safety with four wins in five, it briefly felt like we had our club back again, and JJ Hooper might turn out to be alright.
Apart from that, it's been one long stretch of disappointment. I guess that's why our hopes were raised when we began this season so well. We had a brilliant August but, Exeter apart, it's been the same old aimless nonsense.
This isn’t a call for Jolley's head. The win at Exeter was a tactical masterclass. There is no doubt in my mind that this season's squad is comfortably better than last season's. What we saw in August was our potential. We just don't look like we’ll be as consistent as we need to be to mount a serious assault on the play-offs.
The Mariners only played four competitive fixtures in October, and scored just one goal. We've been average to poor for what seems like forever. We're desperate to get behind something and yet, once again, it feels like this season is going to descend into nothingness as early as November despite what August promised — unless we can get a result, or even a positive showing, at Plymouth.
Perhaps we could reinvest some of last season's profit into the first team and, you know, really go for it (like Matt Green suggested when he signed for us in the summer). We're currently operating within our means, and that puts us lower mid-table in the fourth division. And that's where we'll stay, until something changes.
The good news is that the Mariners haven’t lost a league game against Argyle, home or away, since March 1987. There have been eight meetings in that time, and Town have won four and drawn four. These two sides like a draw; the points have been shared 14 times in 33 games.
The bad news, as always, is the referee. Antony Coggins has officiated three previous Town matches and we’ve lost all of them to nil. Tony Butcher described him as "erratically woeful" in our home defeat to Crewe earlier this season, and while there was no official Cod Almighty verdict on his performance at Forest Green last season, the line "I didn’t notice the referee" was written about him for our defeat at Newport in September 2017, followed by a rating of 8/10.
There's always hope, and no one can take that away from you — except Grimsby Town, anywhere between 3 and 5pm on a Saturday afternoon. No one will be travelling down to Devon expecting three points. But the very least we expect is a team that's organised, well-drilled and brave enough to pass the ball around a bit.
The grand master himself, Alan Buckley, never promised promotion. He only used to promise that he and his players would give everything they had. But, such was the tone and conviction in his voice, it made you believe he was actually promising success. We've desperately lacked his attitude and determination, and it's often reflected in the way we play football.
Players may be low on confidence — and while that might inhibit their skill, it shouldn't stop them from doing some of the basics, like rolling their sleeves up, getting the head down and putting in a damn good shift.
Do that, and the fans who are making their own big efforts to be at Home Park tomorrow will appreciate it. If you're one of them making that long trip, good for you. There's nothing mediocre about our support. Let's hope you're rewarded. UTM!