Cod Almighty | Diary

We're gonna need a bigger boat

4 December 2019

Miss Guest Diary writes: Starting in the late 1990s, when every season for years seemed like a relegation battle, one of the Cod Almighty team used to say – only half jokingly – that Town's season didn't start till March.

Well I have a new saying for this season and, as younger people tend to say, I'm not even joking. Over by November: out of all the cup competitions, languishing in 18th place in the league, no manager and only two Saturdays out of five in the month with a game. Credit to the club for trying to drum up some jeopardy by hyping the sale of tickets for the Scunny game, but this season already feels like a dead horse which there's no point in flogging.

Which makes for lean pickings on the diary front, especially after yesterday's incumbent hoovered up all the scraps. It just leaves me to report on the fightback by the reserves, who came from 2-0 down at half time to beat Doncaster reserves 3-2. A goal from Ludwig Öhman and two from substitute Lennon Stead sealed the victory. I'd like to tell you more – if only to fill up some space – but the report on Town's official site is so brief as to lead me to suspect it was phoned in by a passing dog walker. But it's worth a look for the picture of a beautiful autumnal scene.

So, in the absence of much football, I've been turning to my other love: film. I have seen nine films on the big screen in the last month, some of them at the local multiplex and some at the film club to which I belong. They have ranged from motor racing in Le Man 66 (too many gear changes) through New York crime in 21 Bridges (exciting) to Agatha Christie homage Knives Out (worth seeing for Daniel Craig’s accent). On the more esoteric side there has been a French farce, a gripping drama about being stranded after a plane crash, a black and white film about fishing in Cornwall and a film about a Chinese grandmother with cancer. Then there was the Swedish film about a border agent who can literally sniff out smugglers and who turned out to be (spoiler alert) a troll. I really didn't see that one coming.

But my favourite was a special screening of what is most definitely the best Christmas movie: Die Hard. Originally released in 1988, the first time I saw it I was married to a rugby-playing Welshman. I had barely even heard of Grimsby as a place, let alone anything about Town. Looking back over my film going year, the other two top films were re-releases of A Clockwork Orange and Jaws, both from the 1970s.

I am starting to sound like one of those old folk who claim that everything was better in their day. Regrettably, if you are a Town fan, that is actually true. I can only claim 30 years of watching, but even I can reminisce about the back-to-back promotions at the start of the '90s, the Wembley double year in 1998, Clive Mendonca hat tricks, Ivano Bonetti and the day Town topped the second tier for a few hours in September 2001. For those of my age who have supported Town from their youth, they can add things like the victory over Everton, the revival under Lawrie McMenemy and memories of players like Matt Tees and Joe Waters.

What will younger fans be able to boast about? Trips to Wembley to be beaten in the FA Trophy final, winning 6-0 at Histon, taking 5,000 fans to Chelsea to see Town lose 7-1. I'm going to stop now before I get even more depressed.

If Town could go out and beat Swindon on Saturday and maybe even score more than one goal along the way, it might feel like our season isn't over quite yet. Yippe-kay-ay Marinerlovers.