Cod Almighty | Diary

A Sheltered Life

30 January 2020

A broken rib, shoulder and collarbone ligament damage, and a punctured lung was the outcome of Simoen Jackson's lunge on Jake Hessenthaler. Apart from putting Hess in hospital the challenge should also have made history. Six seconds into the game would have made it the the earliest ever red card in English league football. Daubney Diary never remembers the ref's name unless there's been an almighty wronging; Joyce. Assenmacher. Clattenburg. Or it's really silly like Ffffrrrangcon Roberts. Tom Nield has made the former list. For the rest of his days, he will be known as 'that ref who didn't send off Simeon Jackson'.

It took ages to check the record sending off (Kevin Pressman after 13 seconds, for Sheffield Wednesday in August 2000). When you search for information now you have to trawl past mountains of Premier League records, like football and the PL are different sport or something. That's a nail for a different hammer in another diary.

So, Hess will be out for a while it would seem. He's out of contract in the summer and one would hope Tuesday wasn't his last action in a Town shirt. His loss was immediately obvious as we struggled to get a foothold against Stevenage without him. Will there be a Hess-shaped incoming before the close of the transfer window? Perhaps. In other movement news, Grandin hasn't been confirmed yet but according to Ollie is 'on his way'.

Already here is Ben Davies and he's upgraded his contract from coach to player coach according to John Tondeur. That's a rarity. Did Dave Moore do something similar in about 1987? I can't remember it happening very often with Town, let us know if you can recall an example.

There are strong rumblings that Ethan Robson's attempt to tunnel his way out of Cheapside and back to Wearside has been foiled near Spurn Point. If true, he's likely to be dragged back for another three months solitary in the hole (just in front of a central two).

The parish newsletter popped through the letter box yesterday and woke up the dog. Town fans have been scampering around the house, throwing drool on the settee and shitting on the new lounge rug in excitement at the news that Plucky Scunny have sacked another manager and Lincoln have posted a financial loss. Obssessing over teams that are mocked for obsessing over us? Mock will eat itself, I loved their tunes.

Deadline eve brings further alarming news from the EFL's Official Crisis-Club brought to you by Wickes, Macclesfield. Losing three players is alarming for two reasons; no one like to see a club in bother unless it's Stevenage, and secondly a club in bother may help Stevenage avoid relegation. Can we help Macclesfield to send Stevenage home? Go on Ollie, you sent Ollie Battersby to a random club on a radio phone-in, there must be a few reserves lying about who can help this worthy cause. Stevenage, we don’t want you and you don't want to be here. Toddle off back to non-league and support Luton or the local rugger team.

And finally, news from Domestic Diary and his struggle this morning to find a copy of the Guardian in GY, trying six shops before he found one. Now two of the shops were a Greggs and the butchers but still. Sort it, newsagents. How are Grimbarians going to know that Pet Shop Boys have been casting wistful sighs in the direction of their town?