Cod Almighty | Postbag

The one with the Great debate

19 November 2003

Error: printer willpower low

Thanks for replying to my letter about the print option on your site. I'm sorry - I still don't see the point in the option. Why would anyone want to print a web page out?

from Mark Bancroft

Letters Ed responds: Well, Mark, you might want to read an article off Cod Almighty on the way home, or in your tea break, or even while you're on the, ahem, "library" (at your employer's expense, of course). In which case you would select the print version of the page you want to read and you would print that off. If you print a page off Cod Almighty without using the print version chances are you'll have lots of wasted white space and you could lose the right hand side of the page you want

A reason why Town are better than Arsenal

When I was about 11, I looked at a map and realised the borough's true name. I suggested the Mariners should be renamed "Great Grimsby Town". My older brother swiftly pointed out that this would open the door to teams calling themselves "Greater Manchester United".

However, at least we have a railway station named after us, whereas Arsenal just have a tube station.

Have I got better things to do? Absolutely.

from Pat Bell

STOP SHOUTING!

MAT HARE IS FULL OF SHIT! TOWN NEED THE MONEY. IT IS A GAME THAT HAS A WEEKEND PUT ASIDE FOR IT. THERE IS ALSO A WEEKEND EMPTY FOR THE SECOND ROUND. TWO HOME GAMES, LOTS OF FANS = LOTS OF MONEY. IF THE FANS TURN UP. IF THE TWO GAMES ARE AT HOME. MAY BE MAT IS RIGHT AFTER ALL.

from MABLETHORPE MARINER

Letters Ed responds: Maybe next time you could think it through before you write to us rather than thinking it through while you write to us?

Don't be so Scilly

Good morning,

Can I suggest that Mr Green checks out the Scilly Isles in his road atlas for more Grimsby named places!

Town have got a bad draw for the cup today, but like they say, if Town are gonna win the cup they have to beat the best!!

from Tim Smith

Mat Hare is gay, part one

I am writing in response to Mat Hare's surprising rant from the 30th October that you published on your website.

How he can straight-facedly suggest that Grimsby Town are better off without the FA Cup is beyond me. The man is clearly unbalanced. A good cup run gets the morale of the players up. A good cup run gets the town interested in the club. A good run brings in reward money. A good cup run, like it or not, does improve gates. Another disappointing first round defeat would just compound the problem. The win on Saturday can break the cycle and launch the team on a run now which will hopefully include a Second round victory against the Posh and a good sequence of results over the holiday period.

Up the Mariners indeed, but including the cup, not at the expense of it.

from Francisco Duque

The question on everyone's lips

Come to think of it, what's so Great about Britain...?

from Pete Green

The positional postition

Jason Crowe played in his sixth position of the season in the QPR cup match, and quipped: "I've only got two positions left, goalkeeper and centre forward."

I reckon if Town find themselves in a position on the last couple of games of the season where the result is irrelevant, they should give him a game as goalie and a game up front. It'd be one for the record books - I bet nobody else has ever done that. Although Town did have a goalie/forward once, didn't they - sometime in the 30s... but I can't remember who it was. I bet somebody else can though.

from Miles Moss

This is how love affairs start...

Dear Diary,

Going by your diary entries I am assuming that you are a) a fan of Corrie, and b) a fan of what has been tagged 'real ale'.

Last night on Corrie I was trying to make out the hand-pulled ales available in the Rovers Return. Is it Newton Ridley? If it isn't do you know what ale it is? Does it exist?

And since I'm thinking about it, what happened to that ale the trust got made? Where can I get it? And have there been any other football-related ales in the past? What about beers that have some football-related name? This could run and run...

from Carl Noxby

Letters Ed responds: The Diary says: I contacted Dave Otter of the supporters' trust with your query, Carl. Turns out only three pubs were allowed to take the GTST beer, as most are prevented from doing so by their breweries; though it did sell well. "If any local pub wants to take it they should get in touch with us," says Dave. "Tom Woods will happily brew some more!" Willy's brewed a black and white porter called Mariners Gold to celebrate Town's promotion in 1991. And because p

Justified to the left, you'll find

Having been born in God's great county but having to move away to find work (Grimsby was shut in the 70s) I find it hard to justify the Great Grimsby name. OK the fishing industry was once great as was the.....can't think of anything else at the moment. Maybe Grimsby should be renamed "was once Great Grimsby". In fact my so-called work mates think that Grimsby Town have already changed their name to Grimsby nil. It is a hard life trying to convert these heathens. I can take the flack about the football but cannot justify the Great in Grimsby.

from Keith

Have you ever tried knitting?

Good day.

A few thoughts:

'All the football you can handle' says the ad for 3. Does it have Football League football then?

Also, 'Football Focus'. Opening sequence has footage of Premiership players. Ergo is football only the Premiership as far as the Beeb is concerned? Only another nine months until they can show 'football' highlights on a Saturday night again then.

Cheers!

from Geoff Hughes

Letters Ed responds: Good day. A thought: keep your thoughts to yourself in future.

Of feline appendages

In response to three legged cats, a friend of mine had one called Tripod! Very apt methinks.

from Corby Mariner

Letters Ed responds: Apt? Why? Is the cat made of metal and lumbers round the countryside looking to wipe out humanity so it can rule the planet?

Mat Hare is gay, part two

I don't agree with Mat Hare and his comments that a run in the FA cup would detract Town from their pursuit of league glory. In fact in the past Town have often used the confidence gained from cup exploits to kick-start their season, so don't be down on the cup, it provides a welcome distraction from the pressures of the league, allowing the players to play and enjoy themselves while doing it. This leads to the fans enjoying the game all the more, and when looking at the last few seasons of shocking performances and games it hasn't helped us in the league. Those terrible performances continued into the league games, as they did earlier this season with the woeful league and LDV cup performances. I'm glad we beat QPR and I hope we shit on Peterborough, long live the cup run and every ounce of self belief and wave of positive vibes. I think we're going to need them.

from Al Wilkinson

Don't take pot shots at our Dean!

While you are obviously having a laugh at the mighty Dean Reynolds (see; I can do it too) in your expose on legends from the Grimsby area, you neglect to mention that Reynolds spent the last the latter years of the 1980s as a fixture in the world's top 16. He won the English Professional championship in 1988 and made the final of the British Open the following year. After that he did indeed slide down the rankings, culminating in his drink-driving convictions, the second of which saw him jailed for four months (in 1999). Interstingly Reynolds was freed from that sentence early on condition he wore an electronic tag - much like 'our' very own Gary Croft wore upon his early release from a sentence incurred for misleading a police officer. That does not seem to be the only parallel between Reynolds and Croft, two sportsmen with an obvious talent underlined, like a line of gunpowder, by the ability to blow-up and destroy it all.

For the record the last time I saw the rankings Reynolds was languishing around the 65 mark, which isn't far off Grimsby's position if you look at all of the English leagues.

Regards,

from Alex Harding

This is a grade-A listed beauty...

Evening.

Is there any chance anyone else out there caught the Tar-gahs's manager Peter Taylor on Saturday evening saying that he was going to buy, buy, buy as the squad he has isn't "up to the job". Go on then. Buy your way to another non-promotion. Isn't it strange how Taylor managed to get Brighton promoted with what he was left by Micky Adams? A squad Adams assembled for very few pennies at that. And Adams left two months into the season as well. Plenty to build on.

And now Taylor has taken over at the shambles on the other side of the Humber. He wants money, he can't make do. When inheriting shite he can't make do or further what he has. Splash the cash, Peter! Increase your already immense squad, a large chunk of which you enticed to the KFC Stadium.

Forget Shitty's position at the top of the table. Beaten by a Huddersfield team that is made up of youth players. Ha ha ha. Yes the Hull fans will say that their goals were unlucky, but if they were that grrrrreat they would have buried little Huddersfield. Oh the lower league Ade Akinbiyi is just around the corner as Taylor relentlessly buys striker after striker after striker.

Remember when Huddersfield got their new stadium and a-buy, buy, buying? Where are they now? five years time, that will be Hull.

Talking of buying, I'm seeing green after an hour on the Fishy's message board. Have you seen it? The message board is dedicated to some film called the Hulk. I will have to buy it on video. You see, if you boys had advertising, you too could brainwash people. Must go to Blundell Park. Must go to Blundell Park. Try it. Go on. Sell out.

Until next time.

from Dave Chambers

Letters Ed responds: Thanks for the mail Dave. We haven't had someone whinge about Hull for a while nor Peter Taylor come to think of it. We're glad to hear it from a Town fan for a change rather than prats on radio Humberside who believe Hull have a divine right to be in the Premiership. As for selling out, we'll never go that far...

Stating the not so obvious

A link in your recent quiz shows me a 'blatant mickey taking ad'. Blatant? What of?

from Ed Marshall

Letters Ed responds: Good question Ed. After tracking down the party guilty of this 'joke' it transpires that apparently the ad you see on your right has appeared in a few home programmes so far this season. The humour allegedly lies in the fact that in the Telegraph ad they plug their Matchday team (disappointingly missing our ver

Well, that'll teach us not to empty our sack for a fortnight. Show us you care, and make sure our bag is full to the brim for next week. Give us a shout through the feedback page. Go on.