Cod Almighty | Diary

Back on the joy ride

14 October 2020

BOTB Diary writes: Whoohoo! Whaha! A ram and a bam and a wham a bam a ding dong. I'm so pleased I could eat a curlywurly sideways. I'm not even going to start off with a miserable quote or a song lyric. Not now, Morrissey. Straight into the glad tidings.

Grimsby Town have scored three goals and got three points, the latter for the first time since March, the former for the first time since can't-be-bothered-to-check [February - boringly prosaic Ed]. Not only that, we did it while being impressively impressive and we did it against Cheltenham, the scum on the lower league pond. Yes, the ref did allow Waterfall to thump one off the line with his hand. Yes, their goalkeeper noticeably failed to do the same thing with Tilley's gentle lob. But it's Cheatenham, who send us stamps on approval every time we play them, stamps we never send back. Nobody born after 1980 will understand that reference, so don't bother trying, junior.

Now, I've played a lot of football in my life, and indeed, I still do. Instinctively - you can tell this from watching children play - nobody fouls, nobody stamps, nobody wastes time, teams don't surround referees, nobody tries to get anyone else sent off. Your instinct is to play the game fairly. That's why I hate teams that embrace shithousery. They have to be taught it. They have to be told to do it. It is a strategy. Apart from the odd eyeballs-rotating in their head loony, about three of whom will normally turn up per season per league, most players would go and try and beat another team fairly, with perhaps the odd frustrated foul near the end if losing and tempers lost. Cheltenham, under a previous manager, were odious exponents of the dark arts. I'd hoped they might have changed, but last night revealed that the cloven hoof will still pop out given an opportunity.

Anything else? Well, let's look around. Madness, despair, division and dirt. The season is still farcical, the crisis has revealed what we all suspected, that governing bodies of all colours are dominated by ambitious, clueless muppets rather than by the best and brightest, and Ed Sheeran is still famous. But Town won. Hehe.

I think what I'm trying to say here is, budge up, Miss Guest Diary, I'm back on the rollercoaster