The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

Don't hit that, it's got microchips and everything in it

11 December 2020

It won't bother you layabouts calling round for your lunch, but CA was a right mess this morning, the old microchips were fizzing and popping good-o. However, Daubney has emerged from the engine room and, wiping his hands on an oily rag, is ready to bring you a diary.

Fresh from claiming credit for fixing a website that just started working again by itself amid a flurry of unprintable words, Daubney can also claim to have a vague awareness of the GTFC's upcoming fixtures for the first time this season. I'll be generous and put this down to not needing to make travel plans and what have you. 

Much like our webserver, who knows which mysterious gods and universe string pullers have conspired but fate and the fixture list means our next few games are against teams around us in table. First up is the visit of Mansfield Town tomorrow. 

Ah, Mansfield. Lately, your purpose in life has only been to make others feel better about themselves. They are the first class passengers and we're in economy on a plane with one wing, spending more money to ultimately end up next to us, upside down in a field.

I don't know most of the Town players so there's no way I'm going to research the Mansfield lot for you. If you need to know about them and how they intend to set up, listen to the Sultans of Ping FC. They wrote Give Him a Ball (And a Yard of Grass) all about Stags manager Cloughie junior and his dad. Referencing the lyrics of an obscure 30-year-old indie song might not seem very relevant but it's more thorough than the scouting our Town have managed against recent opponents.

What about our Town? Hopping around the pages of the local media reveals that manager Ian Holloway wants to bring in another goalkeeper to give James McKeown some competition. That would give us four goalkeepers in a squad that only has two recognised full backs. With the recent injury to Danny Preston and Luke Hendrie's suspension tomorrow, maybe a game at full back would give Jamey Mack a chance to improve the footballing skills his manager claims he is lacking.

Ex-Chelsea and [insert 11 other less impressive teams] player Felipe Morais has trained with the Mariners this week as Holloway looks to make another shrewd addition to his squad. The 35-year-old Portuguese could be one of three free agents lined up before the January transfer window opens. Let's not focus on the questions we have about this stategy. Distract yourself instead with trying to unravel a conspiracy bigger than 5G, Covid, and Mrs Brown's Boys combined: Why do all our loan signings lately have 'o' as the second last letter in their name? Embleton, Grayson, Gibson, Robson, Glennon, Benson, Windsor, Taylor, Morton, Preston. The truth is out there. 

That's your lot. For further amusement, join in this morning's Twitter thread that celebrates GTFC in gif form.

Also tune your wireless to this later on: Paul Groves has taken over as manager of Gloucester City and will be talking about his new role. CA's Chief Scout, Rich Mills, has informed us that for a healthy dollop of GTFC yin and yang, Gav Gunning is at Gloucester now as well. Good luck with that Grovesie. 

Thanks for reading and UTM.