Cod Almighty | Diary

Come on, Grimsby United, Still All to Play For!

17 March 2021

BOTB diary writes: Does anyone know how to fix a greenhouse? My door keeps falling off.

Well, I might as well use this diary as one would use a card in a newsagent’s window. What is there left to say? Last night's disastrous results finally, surely, put us out of our misery. Port Vale, who looked like they might be descending the greasy relegation pole, shimmied back up after beating Newport. Worse, Barrow won 2-0 at Cheltenham.

Cheltenham? Are they still here? Please, in the name of all that is Holy, can they just piss right off?

Some will say that Barrow got it right. They realised that the appointment of Michael Jolley wasn't working and handed him his P45, just in time to benefit from a new manager bounce which has seen them climb nine points clear of the Mighties. We looked at our new manager, realised it wasn't working, and went home to watch Strictly.

Town's relegation no-pointer against Tranmere is of course tonight. I predict one of the following:

1. a good first half performance and we go one up at half time. With 10 minutes to go we bring on three defenders and earn a one all draw. Paul Hurst describes it as a "good point".
2. despite a good performance we go in one down. We don't threaten in the second half though he does bring on Matt Green with two minutes to go. Paul Hurst says "we were unlucky not to get a point".

My other prediction is that someone, somewhere, will describe it as an "improved performance". Just about every game under PH has been described as an "improved performance", yet somehow we are still cack.

Incidentally, Royal Doulton Art Deco plate for sale, good condition, c/1920, £5 ono.

So, Lincoln City, eh? I know it's not nice, but we should think about them. They have been out of the League two or three times - I'm not googling their name in case someone reads my search history, so research is scanty - but they are currently scrapping away hoping for promotion to the second flight.

Now, Lincoln, Lincoln, little Lincoln - what do you think of when you think of Lincoln? Less a football club than a community resource to keep the bewildered off the streets on a Saturday, Lincoln City have always been the poor relation of Lincolnshire football, a small middle-class bunch of chums joining in the rough games with the poor children and hoping they don't get hurt. Whenever they slip into non-League no-one is really surprised; when they clamber back the generous of heart will say "oh, well done little Lincoln" and get on with watching the proper football.

By next year we could be three divisions below them.

Three leagues below Lincoln. It’s like 20,000 leagues under the sea, but with added darkness and despair.

Why am I mentioning them? Not just to depress us all, as you might think, but as an indication of how quickly things can change. Lincoln have pretty much tracked us for the last 10 years, and most of the derby games have been reasonably close. We were only at their level in the first place because we had a terrible chairman. He has now almost gone. One good managerial appointment, one injection of cash, one bit of luck, and things change quickly.

This awful, soul-destroying, stinking carcass of a season feels like it has lasted forever, but it hasn't and it won't. By this time next year we could be leading the National League (with a full stadium) and be all set for a quick return, but this time without the albatross Fenty around our necks. We'll have beaten Notts County, Stockport, Chesterfield and Wrexham, and not be losing to jumped-up village teams from the Cotswolds.

Incidentally, Miss Guest Diary asked (paraphrasing here) why it matters which division you are in as long as you can go to the game, shout, get involved, go home happy or sad, and enjoy the whole Town fan thing. It's a good question. I think ultimately it’s about achievement. Everybody wants to achieve. At the end of your life, if you could either say "I started an animal charity which saved 3,000 Russian bears from maltreatment" or "I slept on a park bench and kicked a dog", which would you choose? In footballing terms, beating West Bromwich Albion at home in the second division, as we have this century, is an achievement. Beating King's Lynn at home is like kicking a dog. Not all victories are created equal. Football is an everlasting merry-go-round that is ultimately pointless, like life, but if we can have moments of real pride and achievement along the way then it isn't all for nothing.

Pride. I'm proud to be a GTFC supporter, though I've not been proud of my club for years. Let's make the 2021-22 season the one where that all changes.

And, by the way, I also have three 10ft metal girders, free for collection.