Cod Almighty | Diary
Too many irons in the fire
4 June 2021
"If my diary doesn't appear next week, it is because the notorious CA enforcers have got me."
BOTB Diary, 28 May 2021.
"The Cod Almighty editorial team has asked Domestic Diary to make the following statement: 'We are fully cooperating with Humberside Police in their investigation into the disappearance of BOTB Diary.'"
CA Diary, 2 June 2021.
Looks a bit suspicious, don't you think? Could my non-appearance on Wednesday be mightily sinister, or is it to do with the fact that I'm a disorganised muffintop who doesn't know what day it is?
I’ll leave it there while there is still a tiny bit of ambiguity. Anyway, enough self-regarding nonsense.
He's coming home, he's coming home, he's coming, Pearson's coming home! Hopefully. Usually, the habit of some Grimsby Town supporters of always being desperate to see the same faces again (bring back Bogle/Hurst/Slade/Buckley/The Birch/Podge!) rather miffles me, but I'd welcome back defensive model professional and gent the Shawnmower in an instant.
No, not Shaun Mawer. Tragically it's too late for that. I've gone all sad now. I'll change the subject.
A tweet from "Blundell Park Towers" today suggests it's going to be a busy day. Perhaps there is more than one iron in the fire? If so, or even if Pearson is the only iron etc, it will make a change from our usual habit of waiting until two days before the season starts to sign anyone, thus ensuring we get the footballer/Primark sale equivalent of trousers with an inside leg of 42 inches. Incidentally, do you think "Blundell Park Towers" works? I would have said "Town Towers" or even "Blundell Towers". They should get me to do the press releases. I'm very cheap.
Did you want Lincoln to win and go three divisions above us? Opinion amongst Town fans seemed to fall into three rough categories.
1. Yes! Good luck to our neighbours. Football is a lovely, fluffy and cuddly game, we are all one big sporting family and I wish them happiness and success. It all reflects well on our home county and is a boost for the region.
2. Indifferent. Lincoln have never been our rivals, these being Scunthorpe and Hull. Their progress or otherwise means little to me.
3. They can stick their imps up their arse.
I fell into category three and was delighted to see them fail. Some may say this reflects badly on me as a person, but whatevs, grandad. I don't subscribe to the "good luck for the rest of the season except when you play us hahaha!" school of footy thought adopted by other CA diarists and fanzines more generally, but rather the "I hope your team coach gets a puncture on the M180 and you don't get back until three in the morning, you skeffy tossers" school instead. This, of course, doesn't apply to life away from the game, which is all about "the love, the co-operation and the family of man, Man" as they used to say in the sixties.
Football is not real life, though. Football is theatre. It isn't Shakespeare, in case you were wondering. It's more of a pantomime. Can you imagine a pantomime without an evil villain? That's what football is when you take away the rivalry, the anger, the bitterness, the grudges, the emotion. "Oh well done, Forest Green, you kicked the ball into the net twice more than we did in that sporting contest. Well done. Best of luck for the rest of the season apart from when you play us hahahahahaha!"
Perhaps that is just me though (it isn't). I’d rather watch Francis Lee and Norman Hunter having a barney on a mudbath in a dark 1970s winter than watch today's premiership players swapping shirts at half time. Bring back the rufty-tuftys! Come on town! Announce... Bobby Cumming!