Cod Almighty | Diary

Whatever happened to all the Shakespearoes?

9 July 2021

The BOTB diary on a Friday in pre-season when no transfers have been made for a while and nothing much is happening? What could possibly go wrong?

The big news of the weekend is that England will, of course, be playing Italy on Sunday night; the first time in my lifetime that England have reached the final of a major tournament. If you asked me which I'd prefer – an England victory or GTFC to get promoted this coming season – I'd say the latter. However, since Angels of the Lord rarely come down and ask you which football outcome would suit you best, I'm going to dare hope that both occur. I don't find this boring, divey, time-wastey England team at all lovable - but then the thing that irritates me most about football is grown men screaming, rolling around in agony and crying their eyes out because someone touched them. So come on England and piss off Italy. Or, in a desperate attempt to capture the zeitgeist more effectively: Engerland, Engerland, it's coming home, three lions, fish 'n' chips, Bobby Moore, queen mother, gawd bless 'er, etc, etc.

Last week I pointed out that GTFC had possibly acted illegally and immorally in flailing their hedge at Cheapside during the breeding season and it produced exactly the response you'd expect. It was completely tumbleweeded with added distant church bells. As other CA diarists and researchers have found out, you could break the news that Lord Lucan has been found hiding in John Fenty's gazebo and the local press, the club and the messageboards would shrug their shoulders and carry on. A resident of Cyprus once told me that the police in his country won't stir their stumps for anything less than murder, and Grimsby is a well-known Cyprus satellite state. Though bitterly cold when that East wind comes off the sea! Brrrr. Cuh dear.

Did anyone manage to pick up any of the Errea footy socks the club shop sold off cheap last week? One pound a pair! I got three. They're all gone now. There, that's saved you a journey.

Well, I think I got through that without controversy. Enjoy the peaceful midsummer and enjoy Sunday night, whoever cheats their way to victory.

Next week – Nick Drake!