Match stats: Grimsby v Barnet

Cod Almighty | Match Stats

Saturday 4 September 2021

Conference Premier

Grimsby Town 4 McAtee (4 pen, 64 pen), Taylor (75) Hunt (90+2)

Barnet 3 Tasdemir (33), Bloomfield (43), Widdowson (62)

Attendance: 5030 (57 away fans)

Sponsors' man of the match: Erico Sousa

Yeah, got it right again.

Cod Almighty man of the match: Erico Sousa

A winger winging is the way to win. Eric O'Sousa found his role in life and rolled around causing trouble and strife. He turned Barnet's trousers inside out and upside down and turned the game around. He can dance, he can jive, he was having the time of his life, and so were we.

Our gaffer says

There's a message floating in the air, it's a warning in Hurstian tongue. Gotta stop them crazy horses:

"The fans want to be entertained, and I'm sure they have been. I want us to entertain to a degree, but not in that manner!"

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Their gaffer says

Aww mate, Strewth! Elite crumbles! The Anglofied Ossified Peter Pan of Passing and Movement was clichéd into abject apoplexy:

"I'm disappointed, absolutely disappointed." Woah, calm down cowboy!

Oh hang on, he was merely clearing his throat to sing an unhappy song:

"We played all over them in the first half, and the referee was probably upset."
Nurr-nurr-nu-nurr-nurr, it's not fair, teacher doesn't like me. If he had a ball he'd take it home, right now.

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They never stop and they never die, these crazy horses just keep on puffin'.

Loose and louche after lunching on a free buffet, a dressing down in the dressing room ensured imperfections were addressed. Eventually, after some helping hands from Hertfordshire.

The timidity on the flanks was hindering attacking and permitting panic at the back as the Bees buzzed around our ears. Town just needed to get into 'em. We got into 'em, and they fell apart, mentally and physically.

And Taylor attacked the near post.

Well, they didn't give in, they kept on keeping on, swept along by the deafening throng. We got away with it, thanks to our pesky kids.


You need hands to brush away your tears.

Football isn't just about pretty passing pleasing the eye, for eye candy they were when allowed to flick and trick. And that's the key to their lack of success – they rely on being allowed to play their own way.

In the first half their wingers were tasty morsels and Bloomfield was energised by the backfiring barracking of a bald berk in blue. Fortunately, old Bloomers was out of earshot in the second half and he faded into flailing fogginess.

When the going gets tough Barnutters get moaning. They paid the penalty for not being able to handle pressure. They have talent, but have they the heart to avoid continuing calamity?

Grimsby 'til I die... or cry?

Barmy and bonkers, love conquers everything.

Official warning

Mr D Middleton

Oh Danny boy the snipes, the snipes are falling from Edgware and down to Colindale. We have a slight difference of opinion on the peeper's performance: egregious idiot in the pay of the Pontoon, or eagle-eyed perfectionist simply enforcing the law? Let's put it to a popular vote.

Oh the sweet smell of success, he handled this with care: 8.999 (with 4 bonus points for knowing how to make his hosts happy)

Yep, he's popular round here.

Readers' digest

There’s no ignoring that Town were rip-roaring and can't stop scoring.

In a word: crazy


Town: McKeown, Efete, Pearson, Waterfall, Crookes, Sousa, Coke (Clifton 85), Hunt (Fox 90+4), Bapaga (Wright 80), McAtee, Taylor

Subs not used: Revan, Essel

Booked: McAtee

Barnet: Sargeant, Doherty, Brundle, Glanville, Taylor, Mason-Clark (Thomas 71), Widdowson, Flanagan, Sesay (Nugent 71), Tasdemir (Payne 61), Bloomfield

Subs not used: Oxborough, Vasilou

Booked: Sesay, Widdowson, Nugent

Sent Off: Doherty, Kewell