Cod Almighty | Diary

Fascinating rhythm

2 February 2022

Like a striker in a Slade II team, midweek diarists live off scraps. This week's scuffed finish from a half-blocked Luke Summerfield 40-yarder destined for Blundell Ave comes in the form of optimistic Mariners putting the holiday money on a novice nag in the 3pm maiden at Dundalk. A win for Grimsby Town at Dundalk would strengthen the links between GY and the border town, which are worringly thin on the ground. Daubney is currently drawing a blank beyond Pat Hoban, Paul Futcher and this guy, who I had genuinely forgotten existed. A win would also result in bookmakers mandating that in future all horses shall be named with the intention of drawing in bored punters from success-starved football teams. 

From one scrap we move to another, and this weekend's game with Notts County. The bestest fans in football have bought up all their Meadow Lane allocation, buoyed no doubt by Town's impressive one win from one, 100% unbeaten run that started back in January. Looking ahead past this weekend's win and the routine 2-1 demolition of King's Lynn on Tuesday, the club have another offer to pack the Osmond. Local junior teams can enjoy the visit of Aldershot on the February 12th for free. Noice. 

Wait, what's this? A GTFC side has gone over to Huddersfield to bully the local yoofs and, by jove, forgotten men Scannell and Grant have combined to put us one up. The must have put too many sugars in Hursty's tea or something as they seem to be as close to a start in the first team as me. A few more goals could change that and offset the trauma a few young Terriers may suffer in the process.

Who will we recognise in that first team next season? The owners have been giving their views to the Artist Formerly Known as the Grimsby Evening Telegraph. You'll be happy to hear that they want to get away from the annual player churn which has been a feature of shit Town teams for so long that you'd be forgiven for thinking it's why we are so shit in the first place. While you're at it chaps, bin the whole loan mullarkey. Or limit them to one or two a season. For every Conor Townsend we've had a hundred academy lads who no one can remember. Face it, if getting loans in willy-nilly worked, we'd be in the Premier League by now. 

That's all as I've got to get away to see the local turf accountant. Go Grimsby Town.