Cod Almighty | Postbag
The Postbag: from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs
10 January 2010
We've had an early, rich crop of letters, picking up on themes from last week's postbag as well as the evergreen ones we find new life in most fortnights, so here we are, a week early.
Whether you need it is another thing, but you certainly have the ability to provide just write.
Comradely greetings from Burslem
Dearest Cod Almighty (I feel I can call you that),
Port Vale fan here.
Hello.
Isn't Division IV sublime? I know that we are both rubbish now, but I solace myself with the knowledge that our two clubs are never far away from one another. I remember your glory days. A flowing and fruitful Division II team; a positive footballing addition to any blade of grass; Alan Buckley MkI etc. I remember ours. Wingers that winged; occasional fifteen pass moves; John Rudge. Both unfashionable. Of course! Grimsby. Port Vale. Who? Why? How dare they!
My last visit to your lovely seafront venue was all too long ago now I am afraid. Terracing, fences etc. We won on my first visit. October 1991. Always ensures fond memories of a place, no doubting. Next time, you enveloped us 4-1. We were fourth in the proper Div II at the kick-off, cheekily eyeing up the top of the table. Thanks for that! We needed it. It was becoming too much. I rounded off a superb evening out by arguing with a random teenage girl outside an unspeakable fast-food outlet close to the ground. She asked me if I knew Robbie Williams. I requested that she be silent. I was seventeen and jobless.
My final Cleethorpes dalliance was in September 1995. A ridiculous day involving a return journey aboard soulless supporters coaches. Old men with paste sandwiches. The rattling of the voices of club-crested children who ought to be in bed, or at least far away from me. I sat alone, and was grateful. We arrived at some insanely early hour. I remember a clock by some water confirming this. I went into a pub. I became disgruntled with my fellow Vale followers and decided to sit with the Grimsby fans behind the goal. The sky was thick grey. Grimsby won 1-0 and I went home.
The day that the real Grimsby and the real Port Vale played out a 1-1 draw at Blundell Park in January 1997 was the day after my then partner informed me that we were with child. I would have visited had it not been for that. I didn't go. 1-1, the magic box informed me. I'd have settled for that, pre-pregnancy.
You cannot go down. You mustn't. Do something! We go back a long way, we two. From a Port Vale perspective Grimsby Town are solid regulars. The three teams Vale have played most at league level since 1892 are Barnsley, Notts County and Grimsby Town. Don't go now, not while the night is still so middle-aged. I like Division IV. It's worth hanging on in there. We must revive. We even wear the same home strip now. Come on! Let's aim for Barnsley! Forget rubbish players - football is governed by magic and the Devil. Let's rip out the goddamn seats and revive! Let's annoy the so-called 'big guns' of Division II with our 6,000 gates, unfashionable venues and wily polonaise! The time has arrived! From here there can be no reverse gear! Although, I'll tell you this, there's no way I'm paying thirty zloty to get in. Not a chance. It's as far as Barnsley and no further.
Stay up so I can visit again. Fabulous site. A delight to read. All the best. Stay up.
from Alan Watson-Jervis, Stoke-on-Trent
Player, going cheap
Just wondered if the offer on the official site was for all the players for £17.99 (reasonable), or individual player (rip off). Cos I've got a lot of gardening I could set them on with, or do you know which ones might be good with a paint brush.
Regards,
from Steve, Nottingham
Letters Ed responds: Since Steve wrote, the SNOS has changed the headline on its promotion to "January sale - MP now only £17.99" to "MP, ...", so you no longer get a lower league footballer, you may get Austin Mitchell. Caveat emptor.
Meggies
Why is Cleethorpes known as Meggies? Are the phrases "twagging off" school (truancy) and "beeroff" (off licence) unique to Grimsby? Did "bonking" (having sex) originate in Grimsby?
PS I loved the phrase "strutting" - fishing for sticklebacks and when I was a kid with my net in the Haven I used to think and dream that I was world champion with my net!
from Colin Frith
Letters Ed responds: There has been quite a correspondence on Cod Almighty in the past on the origins of Meggies. One day, we might pull it all together, but in the meantime try our search facility - the first hit I pulled out was the explanation from Tim White in this letters page. The search engine also picked up references to twagging and beeroff in our various pieces on the Grimmo dicti
Just say no
Hull dictionary: Ners Kern - the front of an aeroplane
from Mike
Letters Ed responds: I'm going to close any correspondence on a Hull dictionary before it starts (I've already set up a spam filter to stop letters with "Tahgers" in from getting through), but can't stop myself relaying the find I made reading the great 20th century man of letters, JB Priestley's "English Journey" over Christmas. I'd naturally long realised his tour, made in 1934, failed to cover Grimsby, and began to disapprove of his good review for Hull, until I came u
not for quality."
&l
So Jan Przeniczny (see this postbag) thinks he has it bad just because Town, Liverpool and Poland are tripe at the moment. Well here's a three-fer to beat that: 1. Town really are tripe at the moment. 2. I'm being made redundant in less than a fortnight, as was announced to me on Dec. 18th (Merry bloody Christmas)
...wait for it...
3. I dragged myself grumpily in to work on Monday Jan. 4th only to discover that my boss, the one who has made me redundant, has got an OBE in the New Year's Honours.
You couldn't make it up.
Nice articles on Sid Wheelhouse and Grimsby Police (See Diary 7 January), well done. As for the quotes: "good enough to have tackled many of the third and fourth division league teams of that time" and "could attract a crowd of several thousand spectators for their matches at Blundell Park", well, write your own punchline.
from Phil
Letters Ed responds: Thanks Phil. Consider your congratulations passed on, and good luck in finding fresh gainful employment.
No logo
Dear Mr postbag,
I've finished reading the Sid Wheelhouse story. I am sure I'm not alone is realising that we have never had life so good.
Anyhow, it got me thinking of the attached cigarette card image of the "Clips" Noted Footballers. I have a pretty good collection of old GTFC players, unfortunately not that "Clips" one yet (anyone got a swap?) and I was wondering how these players were selected to appear on the cig cards and whether they benefited from it personally? Bearing in mind, back in the day, the clubs virtually owned the players and I'm guessing that even though their image was used, I would imaging the chairman would benefit and the player would have to lump it. Can anyone shed any light on 'outside of football earnings' during these time? Would these player have expected or taken payment?
Contrast that scenario with today. Remember the Ivano Bonetti situation where "investors" owned his "image" and the club had to deal with lord knows who to sign him (still not sure if it was all above board and legal?) and the fact that any mediocre Premiership player can tout himself for sponsorship or endorsements almost by association to the Premiership rather than ability.
Not sure if you are aware of the NFL's throwback gimmick? It's where they allow one game per season for each franchise to wear the 'old' kit colours and logos of their previous incarnations. I'm not advocating a swathe of teams with old sponsors, but wouldn't it be great to take the idea and play one game per season as a "throwback" game........... throwback all the way, no logo shirts, no names, proper 1-11 numbers, green goalie shirts and just the one substitute. You never know, it might be pleasurable, it might make people realise it's the football that counts and it might just focus the league's mind on making football accessible and fun rather than basing it around the commercial money-making exercises that exclude rather than include............... call me a communist....
Cheers
from Ian Jackson
Letters Ed responds: You are a communist, Ian (though hopefully not in the purging and killing millions for having a different opinion sense of the word) and all the better for it. My dream of avarice is being rich enough to sponsor Town's shirts so that they run out with just the stripes and the club badge on the front of their shirts (although I wonder if clubs nowadays think that proving they have a plush sponsor is some kind of status symbol).
Much to get your teeth into here, more to come soon, I hope. Keep them coming.