Cod Almighty | Postbag
Postbag: famous black and white raincoat
24 March 2011
It's five in the afternoon, at the end of March, you're writing to me now about... well, all sorts of things really. Should you ever come by here, for Rob or for Paul, this is the address to use.
Chory Jak Papuga
So I spent £18 to watch Mariners v er, the Other Team (I just cannot remember their names, can you?!) bought tickets for Upper Beer Stand and saw, well, Arsene Wenger style, nothing. Not even the ships on the Humber to tide me over. I suppose there was a silver lining, couldn't see Yorkshire either, but I digress.
Then I read about Bath City giving 80% discounts for my east European cousins. I'm Chory Jak Papuga (Sick as a Parrot). I've been going to Mariners matches since 1983, no discount when I could have trained all that the Sędzia Jest Chój (Ref's a B******) and that definitely My Śusiamy Na Waszą Rybę (We Pi** on Your Fish), and seeing as we have had a mini run of good results then Trener Dla Anglii (Manager for England) just comes easy. Having said that singing Śpiewamy Jak Łowimy (Sing while we're fishing) doesn't sound as good. Ah well, full whack ticket prices then, at least it's going to a good cause, the UMMF Unemployed Mariners Manager Fund.
Where was I, ah yes, Naprzód Wy Marynarze.
from Jan Przeniczny
Letters Ed responds: C'est magnifique.
Harry Haddocks
Hi,
Seeing as we've got the Dons on the last day I was wandering If there are any Harry's for sale anywhere?
I'm willing to pay good money for a haddock!!!
from Jack
Letters Ed responds: If anyone has a Haddock they can spare Jack, write in and I'll put you in touch. Also a fitting day to raise a tear, or a smile, or both, for the memory of Keith Alexander, I think.
Up the Mariners
As you will see below, my name is Tony Bradsell, I wrote and sang the "Up the Mariners" anthem, and am proud to have supported the Mariners for over 50 years, knowing most of the successful town teams over many years. I am so pleased that so many Town fans still appreciate my song.
from Tony Bradsell
Letters Ed responds: Your name is down for posterity, Tony.
Added time
On your fact file for the Gateshead match, your man queried four minutes added. The rule as I understand it is to add 30 secs for each sub, goal, booking, which makes four minutes right.
from John Ide
Letters Ed responds: Relax John, we're just grateful we didn't play the extra 30 seconds for Gateshead to get a winner.
I am an idiot
Hi there [Um, hello (said guardedly)]
I hope you're well.
I wanted to get in touch about I AM AN IDIOT, a brand new social football game, sponsored by the likes of [Your favourite alleged exploiter of sweatshop labour] and [some caffeinated drink or other] (as well as a few more to be announced [I can hardly wait]), in which you get to live the life of a superstar striker [what, like Danny North? Coo!], all played through your Facebook profile! I thought you would want to know more about this, as after scouring the net for key and topical football blogs and sites, I thought Cod Almighty might like to get involved, play the game, live the lifestyle, earn the creds, as well as potentially getting further involved with I AM AN IDIOT once it is released to the world in April this year.... [So you are saying you thought we would want to be involved because you thought we would want to be involved?]
But don't take my word for it [ no, I won't do that, don't worry, I'm not very trusting of people who write in fluent bollocks], why don't you have a quick look online at some of the I AM AN IDIOT sites, as well as checking out the trailer. [Umm, because I'd rather spend a night hanging upside down from an electricity pylon listening to hilarious outtakes and bloopers from vintage dating shows, presented by Cilla Black]
[Links deleted]
So hopefully that has whetted your appetite for the game [Not sure it has, to be perfectly honest ] as we would love to give you access to play and try the game before anyone else.
[This drivels on for a couple more paragraphs, but the quality of mercy is not strained]
Looking forward to hearing back from you.
Thanks
from K***y
Letters Ed responds: Compared to the implied insult of suggesting we might be vaguely interested in this, accusing us of just cutting and pasting Telegraph articles is a compliment.
If you have any commercial pitches you want to throw our way, please get lost. Otherwise, write.