Cod Almighty | Postbag

The fat lady is singing, but not in an XL home kit

3 May 2011

Open season, close season... letters pointing to the administrative shambles that is the club, letters saying kind things about us (but we're about due one accusing us of cutting and pasting all our features from the Telegraph or official site, so watch this space), commercial pitches that make Nigerian scam spam seem plausible.

Enjoy, and if you are inspired, then write.

You can have any size or colour you like, but you can't have both

Here I am , an American sucked into the eddy of depair and flickering hope known as Grimsby Town Football Club. Order a shirt through the new, improved GTFC club site and then get this:

from "Further to your order 3***. Unfortunately we

Letters Ed responds: Kind Regards Grimsby Town Club Shop" Are the locals even fatter than a typical American or is the thought of keeping the team kit in stock too much of a stretch for the club? Randy in Texas Ah, but its XXXL that's left. We're all thin as whippets. Can't get a medium shirt for love or money.

From Northampton with love

What a damn fine site this is - I just spent the last hour reliving me yoof & realising what a great & unique place GY is/was. I say was, as I don't ever get there now, but reading about the Ploggers, the precinct, netting for struts & finding out that Chapmans Pond is not in fact bottomless is life-affirming. In fact when you live in Northampton, as I do now, anything is life affirming, though the Cobblers are I think ever-so-slightly better at togger than the Mariners nowadays.

One day, I know I'll return, & I'll lay odds on that as I crest Irby Hill & see the Dock Tower in front of me, that the first car I overtake will be an "N" reg Chevette, as we know GY is where they all go to die. Grimbo I salute you, even though I too was born in Croft Baker.

PS. Chapmans wasn't bottomless but I firmly believe the brickpit where Cosalt Caravans used to be, off Convamore Rd, was.

from Steve O'Hare

Like Grimsby? Like Cristiano Ronaldo? Have we got a link up for you

Hi,

I'm the admin of [link deleted], a new website about Cristiano Ronaldo, that I launched around 4 months ago. I've been updating it almost on a daily basis, submitting news articles and other media content, and I've been registering a reasonable visitors growth overall. Right now, I'm displaying content only in English, but I'm planning to extend it to a few more languages while the website keeps growing.

I was wondering if you are interested in exchanging links between our websites, but if you still need more information from my part, just let me know. I'll be able to advertise your website preferably through a text link, but I can also display a banner picture if that suits you better. I contacted you because I honestly feel both our visitors are likely to enjoy our websites and I hope you think the same way.

Best regards and I hope I can hear from you soon,

from [Name withheld to protect the innocent]

Letters Ed responds: Making allowances for the fact my Portuguese just about runs to "Can I have a bottle of vinho verde to take away please?", there is something wonderfully un-Cristiano Ronaldo about the almost accidental candour of this pitch, reaching its apogee in the "honest feeling" that people who read about a non-League English football club might be particularly interested in an overpaid brat, and put off only by the fact the site lacks material written in Danish, Yiddish and Pidgin.

Thanks for writing, thanks for reading. To ensure more of the same, use this link.