Cod Almighty | Diary

Give me some elbow room, so I can boom shakalakaboom!

23 December 2022

Old timers reading this will know that in the old days the CA diary wasn't the feature-length blockbuster it is now. Scribes in the old days would be quite happy with:

The reserves lost to Colchester last night. Chilly.
or 
Banged my foot on a radiator. Walked past Paul Groves in Asdas.

That, they thought, would suffice. Job done. Diary written. Well, today marks a partial return to those glory days as BOTB here has CHRISTMASSY JOBS to do. BOTB doesn't of course want to do those CHRISTMASSY JOBS and would much rather sit here and write guff, but I am told that is not going to happen.

So instead I'm going to wish all Cod Almighty readers and Grimsby Town fans everywhere a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 2022 has been a great year for the Stripeys, and with everyone pulling together 2023 could be even better.

Please note, however, that certain terms and conditions apply. I do not wish a happy Christmas to anyone with plastic grass, or anyone with a flag in their front garden. Incidentally, what are you going to put up your flagpole for Christmas? A nice Santa Claus flag? Are you going to put away your Ukraine flag and your Union Jack and your Argentinian flag and your England flag? Actually, don't answer that question, because I, in common with every other person on the planet, couldn't care less. You’re not important enough to have a pissing flag.

Does anyone care if Harry Pell has a good Christmas? I mean, I don't wish any actual harm on him, but if his Christmas tree lights blew or his turkey was undercooked or his mother-in-law stormed off after a massive row or his car had a flat battery would we care? I don't think we would. The lanky cheating get.

When I was a child I actually used to say all that 'goodwill to all men' stuff with a straight face. I was young and stupid. Happy Christmas to some people. You know who you are. And if we don't win at Harrogate, Christmas is retrospectively cancelled anyway.

Joy to the world.