Cod Almighty | Diary
Fed up with Fandango?
18 May 2023
"Hope and inspiration for all clubs in the lower divisions" said the more garrulous of the two Ethical Brothers this morning, citing the frankly weird second division playoff between Coventry and Luton. Well he would say that wouldn't he as the club chases season ticket renewals and he sets his hope-ometer to eternally optimistic. Another quote I had the misfortune to read in the last 24 hours is attributed to that Meghan Markle and says "You can be the visionary of your own life". Which, I assume, means if you want something really really badly it will deffo come true. So who I am to argue? Just don't bother to remind me unless it actually fucking happens.
Of course your Guest Diarist wouldn't want to burst any balloons - it's football and anything can happen as Luton shipping five goals so easily to the likes of Grimsby amply proved recently. But I am sure of one thing - the half dozen top division clubs circling the relegation drain will be quietly earmarking either of these two clubs to be as good as back down by Christmas. Meanwhile Grimsby will have to improve just to stand still to compete with the likes of Wrexham and Notts. Apparently Town will lose a million quid next season just to be vaguely competitive in the fourth division. Too much cheesecake too soon, old money's better than new, everyone's telling me to be happy, to be grateful and who knows what tomorrow may bring?
In every dream home a heartache, and in the case of the Mariners it's the Main Stand. I don't know if the quotes are in yet to make it safe, but I am pretty sure when they arrive there will not be enough money in the kitty to remove any of the view-obstructing posts. Mr Stockwood has guesstimated £250,00 - £300,000. but quickly added a consoling message to the occupying dentists that they are not to worry - it's not actually falling down. Yet. Which reminded me of an ancient gag which asked how many non-chairmen does it take to replace a lightbulb? This was inspired by the sight of Mr Fenty solo climbing a large ladder on the main Stand at 2.30pm one sunny home game. Shirt-sleeved of course. All politicians cannot wait to roll their sleeves up can they? He claimed the health and safety brigade insisted the match could not possibly go ahead without a working light. As he gingerly descended he must have mused headlines like 'Fenty saves the day'. Bless him.
If you want transfer news I had a reversed charge call from D'Wayne Fandango deep in the barrio. The conversation went you must be past it D'Wayne. No, my son is 16 and a tremendous prospect. What's he called? I called him D'Wayne, after me. He is not in the scouting databases, can I send him over. So the saga continues - but remember It's Strictly Confidential.
Another slice of cod philosophy I read recently claims nostalgia to be a mild form of depression. Now that assertion provokes all kind of conflicting thoughts. I am reminded of the fabulous Groucho Marx saying: You don't like my opinion? Don't worry I have lots of others. But the one thing I will say is there is some new nostalgia coming out of this last twelve months. More memories for @onthisGTFCday to regale us with than you can shake a stick at. New nostalgia, I like that.
But if you like looking through an old picture frame, waiting for the perfect view there is a do on at the club this Friday night all about when we went to Wembley in 1998. Not a sell out yet I don't think so go, someone special will step in to your life. See yer.