The Diary

Cod Almighty | Diary

Summertime, and the writing is tricky

26 May 2023

There are people in society who perform very skilled, dangerous and essential jobs to whom we should all be thankful. Firepeople, ambulance workers, doctors, surgeons and carers all give their utmost in difficult circumstances, often displaying great courage and dedication to their cause. None of them, however, can imagine the sheer hell of being a CA diarist when literally everybody at the club is on holiday. I'm thinking of organising a clap for us every Thursday night in the streets. It's the least we deserve. We could call it Clap for CArers. 

Talking of the staff being on their well-earned vacations, I'm having a mental image of our worthy mascot the Mighty Mariner going to various places in the world and sending back snaps. Here he is up Kilimanjaro. Here he is at the Taj Mahal. Here he is swimming with dolphins. It's quite a funny image. If I wasn't such a technological dunderhead I'd put something like that together. What? Well, I thought it was funny. Throw me a bone here. 

For those who need a footy fix it is of course the last weekend of the premiership, and I'm sure you'll join me in hoping that Leeds United and Everton go down. Schadenfreude is of course a major part of the football fans' experience. One of the few pleasures I am able to glean from the Preening Premier Parade of Puffery is seeing Leeds Utd fans look disappointed. I once turned down a lift to Scunthorpe with someone who had a Grimsby Whites sticker in his car for exactly that reason. A man has his pride. 

The glory hunting fraternity - and in my view it is as abhorrent as trophy hunting - always say the same to me when I question why they support some distant premiership team instead of us. "I'm not going to watch that rubbish", they say. As though football support was about the quality of the team and not the dangerous entanglement of the heart. When I question why they don't support Germany in the World Cup on the basis that they are better than England they usally say "You have me there, BOTB. I have just realised that I am a complete fraud and my life is a sham. I'm going to live in a cottage on the Outer Hebrides and reflect on my poor choices." Well, they ought to. 

The good news is that my mate Deano has started to put together his guest diary, so the quality of writing and inspiration in the Friday diary should skyrocket. No presusure, Deano!

All together now! Glory, glory Leeds Utd, or perhaps not. Bye.