Cod Almighty | Diary
My Diary-Wiary
22 September 2023
Well, it's been a week of shocking allegations against a certain TV personality. Whilst the press and most of society are ready to burn him at the stake, his fans maintain he is innocent until proven guilty. Me? Well, I'm sorry, you may well think I am in denial, but I just cannot bring myself to believe that Russell Brand has fans.
Talking of creepy, we're playing Crawley tomorrow. Creepy. Crawley. You see. It's a play on words, and by no means an allegation that our opponents have committed questionable or criminal acts in the past. I really want to get away from this train of thought now but its proving difficult. I'll just start another paragraph.
Before the season started Crawley were tipped by many to be relegated by Bonfire Night, but in fact they are doing rather well, floating above us in the table on a respectable 14 points. With Town fans' optimism having been smothered under a fire blanket after last week's 3-0 shitter at Wrexham, the fixture no longer seems as easy as it did in the pre-season perusal.
Incidentally, last week there was a little misunderstanding! A Wrexham site was very unhappy at me describing them as having "an ordinary manager and playing ordinary football." This was of course a typo and should have read "an extraordinary manager and playing extraordinary football, indeed they are no less than immortal footballing Gods upon whom the rest of us must gaze with terror and awe." I think the editor removed that last bit! Hope that clears things up.
Crawley have Orsi, a man who proved later on last season that he is quite capable of putting a ball or two in the big net thing. I would have quite liked to have kept the eighties-haired striker. Scoring goals is actually quite difficult and when you find someone who can do it you should keep them locked in a cupboard. And, the name 'Orsi' is a veritable rich pudding of puns, unlike the name 'Eisa,' especially since I discovered it wasn’t pronounced like 'Isa' as in tax free savings account. I wish Hurst would take into account the troubles of diary writers and match reporters before signing players. It would make our job so much easier.
Since the result last week caused us to flop into the bottom half of the table, we could really do with a victory. We may have our injured forwards back, or we may not, and if we do, we don't know which one, if any. Plucky little Grimsby Town manager Paul Hurst is, as usual, not spouting off about it. I got treatment from Town physio Dave Moore once and he has huge hands. Huge, they were, like spindly flesh buckets. If he can't cure poorly players with those then medical science is a nonsense and we can all throw away our textbooks. So there's cause for hope.
Do you watch the highlights when we lose? If we had won by three at Wrexham I would be sniffing out those highlights like a police dog entering a property on Hainton Avenue. As this was sadly not the case, the goals that Wrexham scored are of less interest to me than a hair care tutorial on You Tube. Perhaps that's the wrong mentality. Don't judge me!
Hang on, I've just thought of one. "Eisa good, Eisa good. He is extremely good." Does that work? Try singing it you yourself if you like. Dont worry about your workmates, they can't hear you.
See you at the park tomorrow. Please win, boys. I want to be sniffing out the highlights. That would make my Saturday night.
UTFM