Cod Almighty | Article
by Denby Dale
9 February 2006
Lower-league football club in financial crisis. What's new, eh? The lower-league football club this time: Macclesfield Town. The crisis: owing approximately £300,000 in compensation, fines and costs. The reason: well, you can read about it if you like, but it all appears to boil down to the previous administration being a bit dodgy.
One way out of this mess was to buy thousands of Euromillions lottery tickets and cross lots of fingers. Another way was to invite back Macc legends of yesteryear to play a team of 'All-Stars'. Why did I bother standing out in the rain for two hours with no roof above my head? Well, supporters of other clubs would do the same for Grimsby, wouldn't they? OK, they probably wouldn't, but in all honesty, I just wanted to see Zola play. I wore my Grimsby shirt over my jacket to show that fans of other clubs don't mind handing over a tenner.
The All-Stars lined up with an oddly Chelsea/Middlesborough feel about them. Kevin Hitchcock; Viv Anderson, Gianluca Festa, Gary Gillespie, Mauricio Taricco; Christian Karembeu, Bryan Robson, Gus Poyet, Graeme le Saux; Mark Hughes, Gianfranco Zola. The Macc legends were not quite so familiar to me but they'd probably give the current crop a good match. Ryan Price; Darren Tinson, Neil Howarth, Cec Edey, Rae Ingram; John Askey, Mark Bradshaw, Sammy McIlroy, Darren Lyons; Phil Power, Richard Barker. It's not every day you get to see Sammy McIlroy competing in midfield with Bryan Robson. There may only be a couple of years separating them but there are more than a couple of hair follicles between them. Mark Halsey was the referee.
The match started with the All-Stars showing their quality and taking the game to Macc. For a friendly fundraiser it was played at a reasonable pace and was more competitive than I'd predicted. The teams made early substitutions with Gillespie, not in the best of shape, departing, which allowed Karl Connolly to join the midfield with Gus Poyet dropping to centre-back. Macc, too, altered things early, bandana-man Efe Sodje replacing Howarth.
One player stood out and that man was Mark Hughes. Defenders bounced off him; his movement bamboozled and confused; his touch - rock solid. Zola was showboating, often losing the ball but showing glimpses of why he's often thought of as Chelsea's finest ever player. It was no surprise when the All-Stars took the lead. The ball was played wide left to le Saux, who showed the full-back a clean pair of heels (which was difficult on a boggy pitch) and crossed perfectly for Zola to slam the ball home at the far post.
This brought the Macc legends to life. Sodje ran enthuastically out of defence on several occasions to a joyous roar and Rae Ingram at left-back looked a class act. The All-Stars looked shaky in defence. Festa, Poyet and Anderson all seemed uncomfortable, with the latter amusingly nutmegged in front of the amusingly small main stand. Bryan Robson sat in front of the back four but gave them little protection. The equaliser came just before half time, when a cross from the Macc right evaded everyone, falling kindly to Ingram, who made no mistake from close range.
A fair score at half time. Edey and Sodje were solid at the back. Sammy McIlroy ran the midfield - no, really. The entertainment was provided by the world's best freestyle footballer something or other. For about ten minutes he kept the ball in the air while running about the pitch, while sitting down on the pitch and while lying down for a bit too. During a match, he'd be the sort of guy you'd watch do a couple of tricks before booting him into the advertising. Remarkable skills though.
Second half saw Robson and Hughes replaced by tiny bloke John Spencer and the human bullet, 45-year-old David Speedie. The crowd couldn't believe their eyes that the small, fat, completely bald striker was the former small, thin, completely bald Chelsea striker. He looked like a Weeble. I always remember Speedie as a niggly little git and within seconds he'd woefully mistimed a sliding tackle.
Un-man of the match for me was Karembeu: he was awful. Poor control here, passing to the opposition there. Then again, I don't suppose he cares when he's married to Adriana SklenařÃková (go on, google her). McIlroy made Karembeu look like a proper clownshoe with some silky skills, skipping around the former French midfielder like he was stuck in the mud.
The match turned with the second-half substitutions. Andy Smart, John Miles, Michael Briscoe and Kevin Townson all came on for Macc (along with Elfyn Edwards, who appears to be an admirer of pastry dishes). Marvin McDonald and Neil Morgan turned out for the All-Stars. From then on, it was wave after wave of Macc attacks. They took the lead when the hapless Poyet deflected a weedy shot from Phil 'The Taylor' Power into his own net. It was 3-1 when Power himself finished smartly.
The goals didn't stop there. No sooner was I completely soaked from head to foot than Andy Smart scored a couple of belters from the edge of the box to make it five. By this stage Miles and Townson were running the show.
Late on, the All-Stars won a penalty and up stepped the man who many people had come to see: Gianfranco Zola. His class shone as he whipped the ball to the keeper's right, ending the scoring on the night. A 5-2 scoreline was a fair result, with the football keeping everyone entertained while they were dripping wet. When I say everyone, I mean everyone who didn't nip off to the pub at half time and failed to reappear.
Huge credit goes to all the players who took part and all the fans who didn't let the rain stop their enjoyment of seeing their heroes take on several former international players. Graeme le Saux took time out from his new career boring people to death in punditry to act the clown, always interacting with the fans. It was nice to see.
An attendance of 4,377 got wet, with the evening raising a reported £50,000. I'm glad I made the effort and don't mind feeling terrible today as a result. Atchoo.