Cod Almighty | Diary

We all dream of a team of Waterfalls

6 March 2024

Get the deposit down on the open top bus, Town are ace again! It seems like only last week that social media doom-mongers were cussing all and sundry as they made made plans for Ebbsfleet and Eastleigh 2024 but two draws and a win later and they're looking up at Bolton and Barnsley 2025.

The worst manager with the worst players because of the worst recruitment ever and another bloody woman chief executive! Boo Town. The only bright spot in the season was Danny Rose's immaculate set of teeth and our only hope his tireless attempts at being the 12th, 13th, 14th and 15th man as he careers around the pitch playing his own position and several others. Sidenote: the club have launched their Silent Auction site. No this isn't leading into a gag about the Blundell Park atmosphere, it's an actual thing and the first item is Danny's shirt from the FGR game. Daubney is recommending you factor into your bidding budget an accompanying purchase of a family size Bold 2 in 1 Professional detergent following his muddy heroics on Saturday.      

Back on topic. Get over it, it's social media. If you don't like it, don't fackin' come. Or if you do, mute and block. Well that's just kicking the problem down the road and these things come back and bite you. Like when Bryan Adamses was number one for about 135 weeks in 1991. Ignore him and he'll go away friends, family and doctors promised. Sticks and stones may break my bones but Canadian caterwauls can never hurt me. Top of the Pops and all soft focus Kevin Costner was boycotted and I fitted a semi automatic battery loader to the Sorny Walkerman I got down Freemo. But I knew it was out there, polluting airwaves. Creeping into eardrums, making them vibrate in the most horrific dirgey fashion. 

And here we are reaping the whirlwind THIRTY-THREE years on. No one put Adamses straight and he's on a bloody World Tour. Not a town tour, a county tour or even a country tour but a WORLD tour. Bryan Adams is coming to the UK and Ireland! the promo piece announced, thinking it was the bearer of good news but actually sounding like the threat of a marauding hun and turning my blood colder than the hot water in the Pontoon bogs. 

So here I am, lessons learnt and not wishing lightning to strike twice. You Fishies, Twits and Facebookers. We've been crap this season, no doubt. Blow a few more fuses but keep it chill on the individuals if we lose a couple before the end of the season. It's forgotten how often today's donkeys are tomorrow's heroes and remarkable to see the same people who damned and wrote off Luke Waterfall in 2021 for example, retain the confidence in their own "eye for a player" to quickly condemn Harvey Rodgers or Jamie Andrews (aged 21 and playing league football for the first time) to the same fate. 

Backed by a superb 453 Mariners, the players and manager fighting for a point last night have been written off for months. But they're still grafting. They haven't quit on us the way some have on them. Daubney diaries past have claimed there are few, if any, crap professional footballers. That doesn't mean they can't have a crap game or several, but they remain our guys. It's frustrating but all we can do is keep getting behind them. As the last week has shown, it's the very least they deserve. See you at Sutton. UTM.