Cod Almighty | Diary

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17 April 2024

The fallout from Town's defeat to Colchester last night was felt beyond NE Lincs and had ramifications for the very highest levels of the British establishment. Excuses were made at dinner parties and butlers raised slumbering masters as emergency sub-committees were convened and quorums hastily sought.

The outcome of the hive of meetings and decision-making that ensued could be celebrated as a triumph of effective inter-departmental and cross-discipline cooperation. What it means for you the reader and humble Town fan is that Saturday's game with Swindon has been designated by the FA committee in charge of such things as a "must-not-fucking-lose" fixture.

The cornerstone of the designation was a panicked yet detailed submission from red-eyed National Grid engineers highlighting that their network doesn't have the required capacity to electro-shock the Town fanbase back into its natural state of semi-coherence if their team needs to go to Crawley still needing a point to avoid the drop. 

We don't make this easy on ourselves, do we. The thumping of Crewe threw a shiny 50p in the slot of the easiest game in the arcade and gave us three lives to get the girl, kill the baddies, and save the entire planet. Losing our first life last night shouldn't have been a surprise to scholars of Grimsby Town FC but it didn't stop Daubney and others with a lifetime doctorate in the subject from getting more than a little bit irked. Colchester offered little beyond Akinde-bargy and even less when they went ahead. In fact, they resembled Town in recent months when getting a lead that they daren't lose. A competent showing would have got the job done.

Instead we had a mixture of players, some who might have the skills but didn't have the required urgency and others who might have heart but are simply not good enough for the job they were asked to do. We've seen it so often this season that further analysis, if not futile, is certainly something I cannot be arsed to do right now. The result did condemn Forest Green to the drop, and whatever noble green aims they claimed to have, as a financially doped village XI they won't be missed by Daubney. Chesterfield will replace them on our fixture list next season in Atari's EFL 2024. Hopefully. Continue player one?