Cod Almighty | Match Report

by Tony Butcher

29 April 2024

An extremely hot day and a packed away end, with the green seats in the corner mostly full. The Upper Stones/Findus/Smiths seemed sparsely populated, perhaps a third full. The atmosphere was all down the Osmond end. Fortunately they didn't bring all their atmosphere into the ground – there were at least two glass throwing incidents in the pubs prior to the game. An attempt at a ticker tape welcome from the Pontoon foundered when it all fell on one girl's hair (and stayed there all game). The first thing one noticed about Raven was that he looks like Livvo's slightly prettier brother. He is also a strapping lad who should be useful in the air.

Town lined up in the usual 4-4-2 formation as follows: Coyne, McDermott, Livingstone, Raven, D Smith, Donovan, Pouton, Groves, Black, Clare and Jeffrey. The subs were Croudson, Allen, Buckley, Butterfield and (I think) Chapman. D Smith played at left-back, Livvo at centre-back and Jeffrey is our new number 9. Preston played in a vivid red outfit with large blue flashings on the sleeves. The officials wore very strident green shirts. Fashion show over.

First half
Town kicked off towards the Osmond end and that's probably the most positive thing I can report from the first half. Preston were organised and very busy in midfield, closing down Town players very quickly. Consequently Town were a complete shambles.

Within two minutes Town had been half opened up down the centre from a throw-in and a Preston midfielder had shot weakly and wide from 20 yards out. The opening was as a result of Preston quick thinking and Town slackness. After a further four or five minutes they completely opened Town up again, this time on the Town left, with their right winger alone, at an angle six or seven yards out. He rather dithered and Town players got over to block.

After 10 minutes, right after it had been remarked how well Groves had been playing (he'd been doing a lot of fine recovery tackles and clearing up after others had erred), he made two dreadful howlers. His first was just inside the Town box, on the centre left. He intercepted a header down from their centre-forward as it trundled towards his strike partner. Groves tried to welly it with his right foot and got in a horrible position. The end product was a woeful slice arcing gently into a spot between Coyne and their other centre-forward. Coyne rushed out and half blocked, the ball still fell to the Preston player who tried to roll the ball across the six-yard box to an unmarked chum. McDermott raced over, flung himself towards man and ball, and the ball was cleared away after a scramble.

One minute later Groves, in the centre circle, passed the ball against Pouton's shins (Pouton was a couple of feet away at the time). The ball rolled back to Preston who ran at the heart of the Town defence. The ball was eventually played across to the right winger, after D Smith had been drawn across to cover the centre-backs. He was alone, about 10 yards out, to the left of the Town goal. His cross shot went less than a foot wide of Coyne's right-hand post.

Preston had a couple more weak goal attempts from outside the Town area, both after Town had been sloppy in playing the ball around in midfield. And then the first Town goal attempt of the season. Donovan dribbled past his full-back (yes, first for two years) and crossed against him. The ball rolled back into Donovan's path and he clipped a flat cross to Jeffrey, about 10 yards out, in a central position. Jeffrey mistimed his jump and headed high into the air, the ball dropping on the roof of the net.

The next 15 minutes were largely Preston harrying Town until a Town player miscontrolled it, and Preston broke at speed. The Preston forwards were much quicker than Livvo and his prettier brother, Raven. Livvo was playing ok, but Raven was showcasing the full range of his inabilities. Mr Raven is someone who can best be described as "being capable of making his head make contact with a football". He's like Lever without the ball skills, but with added 'moments'. It was less of an impression of Lever, more a caricature. He was the centre of their penalty appeal, when a Preston forward fell theatrically in the area. It was a dive, no penalty was given and so should have been a booking.

Around the half hour mark Town had a good chance. Again Donovan beat his full-back, his cross was deflected high in the air, falling to the totally unmarked Black, about 15 yards out, just to the left of centre. Despite having several hours to readjust his position, Black decided that this was the ideal opportunity to show his all-round talents by scoring a searing right-foot volley. It went off his shins into the ground and finally safely into the arms of the keeper.

Preston should have been a couple up by then, as they had infiltrated the penalty area at will, often with players unmarked beyond the Town full-backs. They had at least three opportunities in this manner, which were snuffed out by some desperate lunges. After 35 minutes the inevitable happened.

From a throw-in about 20 yards out, under the Stones/Smiths/Findus, Appleton trotted into a huge space in the Town penalty area. Clare belatedly ran back with him and did just enough to stop his advance. Appleton played the ball back to the left winger (McKenna – swept back girly curly hair, uurgh) who clipped a precise cross to the left hand edge of the six-yard box. The ball was headed back across goal into another huge gap (it may have been controlled and passed across into this gap). Appleton ran on and smacked a drive, from 12 yards or so, just to Coyne's right. Coyne parried the ball away to his right, about 10 yards out. Appleton ran on and drove the ball just inside Coyne's right-hand post as two or three defenders threw themselves at the ball. Appleton hardly endeared himself to the Pontoon by making an overt display of affection for his Preston shirt right in front of them.

Town continued to play dreadfully, without passion, confidence, skill or pace until a couple of minutes before half time when McDermott decided some direct action was required. He surged forward from right-back, played a one-two with Jeffrey and smashed a 25 yarder straight at the keeper. In the five minutes of injury time Town had their only decent period of play in the first half. Donovan ran at, and across, the Preston defence, about 20 yards out. From a central position he drove in a low curling left-footer, which the keeper only just tipped around for a corner.

Town had three corners, one of which resulted in Donovan hitting a right-foot volley form 25 yards which appeared to be going towards the top left-hand corner of the goal until a Preston head deflected it just wide for another corner.

And then it was half time. You have read about absolutely every Town attack, but not every Preston one, as there were far too many to remember. Ah, just remembered another – after a one-touch passing move across the face of the Town penalty area a forward curled a first-time shot straight into Coyne's midriff.

Town, generally, had been atrocious. Pouton was awful as an attacking force, rarely seen. His only contributions were the occasional crunching tackle in midfield. Groves had started well, but after his early mistakes had seemed to slow down and the game passed him by. Donovan had shown a couple of signs of attacking promise, and also one superb tackle after tracking back, which probably saved a goal being conceded.

In attack Town lived down to everyone's fears. Clare was totally ineffective, producing only one promising flick, which went straight to a Preston player anyway. Jeffrey hinted at producing an opening, but only hinted. He hasn't the strength or pace to capitalise on any of the bits of skill he produced. He again looked to be a useful link player, occasionally drifting into space, but there was no-one with the perception, or skill, to pass to him. Jeffrey is a bit like Woods, but without the enigma. He is definitely a Town player, as he doesn't look as if he'll score. Town didn't make it easy for the front two with the number of balls played up to their heads for flick-ons. Not surprisingly Preston's big centre-backs had no problems with this tactic. Preston's defence, as a unit, looked very vulnerable to pace and movement. Good job they were playing Town then.

D Smith had had a good half, clearing up after others and making some fine last-gasp tackles. Oh yes, and finally Cyril, Coyne caught a corner.

Second half
No changes were made by either side at half time. Town started like they did in the first half. I cannot recall anything much happening in the Preston penalty area for half an hour. There were two or three crosses from Donovan which were either cleared easily, or were too long at the far post. The crowd were beginning to grumble about the number of bad passes, bad control and just plain badness on display. It wasn't long before they were calling for Bradley Allen.

Preston continued to cause Town problems, especially through their two tricky twisting strikers, Basham and Macken. Livvo and Raven were just not good enough. Macken was running and dribbling past Raven at will, causing someone else to come and cover for him, thus leaving a gap somewhere else. After six or seven minutes of the half McKenna nearly scored when he was the 'free man' on the Town right, after a mazy Macken run. He was alone, about eight yards out, near the edge of the six-yard box. He turned inside and curled a delicate chip just past the angle of Coyne's left-hand post and bar. They had a couple more efforts from distance which didn't trouble Coyne.

The game was quite poor, with Town looking by far the poorest. There was not even a hope of a crazy own goal to help us. Town were simply not getting close enough to the Preston goal. They were being outthought and outfought in midfield.

After 60–65 minutes Allen replaced Clare. For some reason a few Pontoonites booed this decision. Clare had been dreadful and was lucky to have come out for the second half (he had, also, received treatment for a back injury in the first half). Allen did as he usually does, buzzed around a lot without looking totally at ease with the ball. Allen and Jeffrey did, on occasions, link promisingly, with little flicks and runs.

The action in the second half was confined to the last 15 minutes. On 75 minutes, Town had their best chance. Some intense play down the Town left (the ball came in and out a couple of times, with Allen involved fighting for the ball) saw the ball flicked into the area to Jeffrey, who shielded the ball and laid it off to Allen, unmarked, about eight yards out. Allen smacked a half-volley just to the keeper's left, who got a hand to it and diverted the ball onto the underside of the cross bar. The ball bounced down a couple of feet in play and was hacked away.

On 80 minutes, after another period of Town pressure (during which Town changed to 3-4-3, with Livvo going up front as the central striker), but no shots, resulted in three or four consecutive corners. Black floated a corner in from the Town left. Groves raced in and, from about 10 yards out, centrally positioned and totally unmarked, he glanced a header a couple of feet wide. The Pontoon was not required to inform him how bad the miss was, he bent down on the goal line with his head in his hands for a good five seconds. It looked like he was going to cry. Groves had earlier headed a couple of corners over when under pressure and also managed to stick his leg out and knock a loose ball wide, after a scramble following a corner on the Town right.

Four minutes later Donovan miskicked badly when played in by Allen, about six yards wide and to the right, behind the defence. Donovan's shot sliced into the back row of the Pontoon. A minute later Jeffrey hit a decent 30-yard ball to Donovan, hugging the touchline, underneath the police box. Donovan dillied a little, decided to dally too, and was easily robbed of the ball when trying to dribble past the full-back. The ball was immediately played down the channel over McDermott and behind Raven. Despite being a couple of yards in front of Macken, Raven was outpaced down the touchline, and was also outfought. Macken and Raven fought each other right to the bye-line in the area, Macken cut across and seemed to hit it too hard, and too close to Coyne. Coyne failed to come off his line quickly enough and Macken knocked the ball past him and across him towards the centre of the goal. Coyne turned and ran after him, but Macken slid in and turned the ball into the empty net. A really awful goal to concede and it looked very, very amateurish defending by Raven and Coyne. As soon as the ball hit the net two sounds were heard: Preston fans cheering and that distinctive slap of plastic seats being emptied of bottoms. About a third of the Town fans got up immediately and headed for the hills.

Preston played the ball around and wasted time, whilst Town continued to hurl the ball forward with little hope. However the answer the question on everyone's lips "Where is our next goal coming from?" was about to be answered. Donovan was played in (by Allen I think) behind the left-back for the umpteenth time and hit a low shot across the keeper, who parried it, but with little pace. The ball rolled gently to somewhere near Livvo, who raced forward and swept the ball into the net from four yards. That was it, no more action.

Town put out a side that looked on paper as if it would lose. It did, and will in the future. Livvo, despite playing quite well himself (excepting a couple of howlers when he tried to be too clever in defence), and Raven are just not good enough at first division level. Groves looked off the pace, showing his age. It is telling though that he still had most of Town's efforts on goal. When Groves falters, Town falter. Pouton had one of his worst games for Town. He only tried one surge, which was stopped by persistent pulling of his shirt, and was an ephemeral presence today, as was Black. Donovan hinted at danger, and he had the beating of the full-back. For the first time for a couple of years he dribbled past a full-back! Where is that bunting? Clare was useless and Jeffrey had a couple of good moments, but didn't cause any difficulties for Preston in their own penalty area. His best work was between the half way line and 30 yards out, where he linked well with others. But all this did was get the ball from one winger to another, he wasn't there when the ball got into the box.

I usually look for positives. There weren't any. This report may be a bit uninspired but, then again, so were Town today. Forty-five to go.

Man of the match: D Smith, he cleared up the mess of others. Effective if not memorable.