Cod Almighty | Match Report

by Tony Butcher

4 June 2024

A bright, sunny day chasing the clouds away, with a cold, cold wind blowing through our souls. Typical Carrow Road. The Norwich fans bathed in warm sunshine, around 650 Town fans huddled together in the old stand exposed to the easterly wind whistling down their right ear. How's that for a bit of copper/kettle calling.

The Town fans buzzed when they saw the team limber up. It's, it's ...Monty Python's flying Livvo! And who's that chunky little bloke with the spiky hair? That must be the mysterious Cooke, and it was. The Norwich mascot, for some reason, never explained, a cat clad in yellow and blue, kept cartwheeling around the pitch and waving maniacally. I suppose it was trying to whip up the home support into a frenzy, which was a sysiphian task, as they had similar levels of interest and commitment to the Town crowd last Monday. Well, they'd turned up, hadn't they? What more do they want? Further attempts at creating an atmosphere included an attempt to record the fans singing On The Ball City for a centenary video. "C'mon, let's make them hear it in Cromer". It seemed to be one verse of an inconsequential doodle, punctuated by loud "Grimsby, Grimsby" as a counter-point in 3rds and 5ths. We had, indeed, come to spoil their party.

Town lined up, in 'lucky' white shorts, in a 4-4-2 formation as follows: Coyne, McDermott, Groves, Todd, Gallimore, Cooke, Pouton, Coldicott, Butterfield, Falconer and Robinson. The substitutes were Croudson, Ford, Burnett, Jevons and Livingstone. Cooke played on the right wing, with Butterfield on the left. Mmm, Galli and Jogging Danny B together at last (thought the opposition). As the game was about to kick off Livvo stood, in full kit, on the halfway line, then put a red jumper on. Perhaps, like a frustrated racehorse, he just wanted to smell the turf.

Norwich lined up in a 4-4-2 formation with a couple of large defenders and a pumped-up Nielsen upfront. Yeah, yeah, we know your routine. But we also knew what chaos he could cause if he was bothered. He looked very bothered. Ominous.

1st half
Norwich kicked off towards the stand on the right (as seen on tv, and by the Town fans, who were sat in the same stand as the tv cameras). Within a minute Nielsen had bundled and barged his way down an inside right channel, past Groves and Todd, down the bye-line to within five or six yards of Coyne. Gulp. He crossed low, the ball travelled through the six-yard box and was cleared by McDermott, with a Norwich striker hovering and about to tap the ball in from three yards. A minute later Nielsen did the same thing again, this time pulling the ball back from the bye-line to an onrushing midfielder, whose shot was blocked by Coldicott, then the follow up shot was blocked again for a corner. I think.

The first few minutes were hectic, panicky stuff, with Nielsen involved in everything, backheeling on the left edge of the Town area to almost set someone free. In fact, it was all so hectic that the events seemed to blur into one another. For sure after three minutes Norwich had a corner on their right, swung in low to the near post by Easton. Butterfield jumped in front of Coyne and managed to glance a backheader an inch over the angle of post and bar. Coyne went mad, claiming he'd been pushed, but the referee ignored him, then ordered Norwich to take the next corner from their left hand side, which infuriated their supporters and players. This corner was looped in high and swinging in to the very centre of the six-yard box. Mackay jumped highest and earliest and nodded the ball down past Coyne and into the right hand-side of the goal. Around 20,000 people jumped around and cheered. Around 600 Northern shoulders sagged three inches, with 600 pairs of Northern eyes staring at 600 pairs of Northern feet. Typical Norwich, shall we go home now?

The next 10 minutes followed the pattern of the first four – wave upon wave of Norwich attacks, with them seeking out the spaces around Gallimore (and those in his head) and absolutely everything involving Nielsen. And the referee. And the linesman. Oh yes, they had a mighty big part to play in the game.

A couple of minutes after their goal Norwich should have scored again. Town cleared a free kick and all ran out in a line. Norwich knocked the ball back over the top. Don't panic, there are four of them offside by four yards. Why isn't the linesman putting his flag up? Play on and panic on. McVeigh (I think) collected the high ball on the edge of the area, just to the left of centre, took the ball forward and, as Coyne ran out and fell at his feet, lifted the ball over Coyne and onto the top of the net. The Town fans had the most perfect of views, being absolutely level with the defensive line. The linesman received some very specific advice from fans and Town players alike. That's four players four yards offside. To give the linesman his due perhaps one of them wasn't interfering with play. Maybe.

And a couple of minutes later the linesman repeated his Nelsonian posturing; fortunately Coyne came out and caught the through ball. Only three offside this time. By five yards. And then the linesman did the same again. This time Norwich ended up having a shot and nearly scoring. Again it came from a half clearance by Town, a lofted, hopeful return pass down the centre and Nielsen barged forward, Coyne stopping with his legs.

At this point a young Town fan was ejected by the police, who were also asked to take the linesman out with them. They refused. We are still in the first 15 minutes, remember. And there's more golden Norwich chances to describe.

Nielsen barged down the Town left and fizzed a cross through the six-yard box, no-one there, everyone had gone to the moon. A long, high ball over the top, down the Town left to the edge of the penalty area saw Groves struggling to fend off Nielsen and watch the ball as it swirled and curled around. Groves dropped his shoulder to suggest he was going left, then he headed the ball back towards goal. Nielsen rolled around the stumbling Groves and was free inside the penalty area, about 12 yards out, just to the left of goal. He dithered dreadfully, allowing Coyne to rush out and a couple of Town defenders to race back, and ended up tapping the ball against Coyne's legs, the ball eventually being smothered away to relative safety.

There were a couple more desperate scrambles in the Town area, normally after a Norwich player had managed to infiltrate the spaces down the left, dribbled to the bye-line and pulled the ball back to midfielders waiting near the penalty spot. They missed, too busy licking their lips to lock their sights. And the Town defence/midfield threw themselves at the ball to great effect.

There we are: 15 minutes of torture for the Town support, and players. Virtually nothing had been created up front, with Falconer unable to move, let alone win possession. Robinson was lively and trying, but had no striking support. Cooke had produced a couple of neat passes and dribbles but, again, Town were undermanned upfront. Town generally had the look of a group of travelling companions thrown together by happenstance. They seemed to be doing their introductions on the pitch.

Then, after about 20 minutes, something clicked and the game turned upside down. It coincided with Nielsen's wind being blown. He appeared to put all his effort into the first 20 minutes, and with his demise Norwich sank back. They snapped around in midfield, they chased around up front, but Town gradually started to block off their runs, read their passes. It's called organisation. Norwich only really had one more effort in the first half, which resulted from some casual play by Town on the left and a Norwich breakaway. Kenton was sent free down their right wing, he crossed at head height into the six-yard box and Nielsen, at the near post, leant back and flicked a glancing header a few inches wide of Coyne's right-hand post.

That's it, you can forget about them, it's about Town now. And the referee. He booked Gallimore when Nedergaard shielded the ball in front of the Town fans, then fell on the ball. Galli swung his boot a couple of times and Nedergaard shrieked like a teenage girl, clutching his left hand. Of course the home supporters bayed, and of course the referee obliged them. Coldicott was booked for a very innocuous, slightly mistimed tackle near the halfway line and Groves was booked for, well, no-one really knows. How odd that Norwich players didn't get booked for similar stuff. How odd that all the little decisions went agin Town, like the time Robinson was free, 30 yards out, so the referee awarded Town a free kick 40 yards out for a foul on Falconer. Or when Pouton was about to stroke a pass to Coldicott on the halfway line and a Norwich player kicked his boot, forcing him to tap the ball five yards and fall. Ooh, play on, of course. Most of the first half was taken up with rages against the officials. Rant over.

After 20 minutes Town were good, very decent, and occasionally excellent. The principals in this renaissance were the effervescent Robinson and the tricky Cooke, who plays like a cross between Gilbert and Childs. Cooke struck up a fine understanding with McDermott and had the beating of his full-back, crossing at will. What a pity that Falconer was on the pitch, or allegedly on the pitch, for he was absent from action all the time.

After about 25 minutes, Robinson showed some invention and verve, receiving a pass 35 yards out on the right, turning past his marker, drifting through three challenges and slicing a left-foot shot eight yards wide and five yards high. There was a 10 minutes spell of Town possession and probing down the flanks, with little tangible reward, but a lot of confidence-building play and interactions between players. One touch, pass and movement. And Town fair dominated the last 10 minutes of the half, laying siege to the Norwich goal and silencing the trilling Canaries.

Cooke teased his full-back, then pleased the crowd by dancing past him and crossing from a narrow angle out near the corner flag. The goalkeeper stumbled back across his line and managed to get his finger tips to the ball, diverting it on to the face of the crossbar. The ball bounced down and Falconer dived in with two defenders at the foot of the post. Corner to Town. The corner was pinged towards the far post, a huge melée followed with a Town player trying a shot from a dozen yards out. The ball was stopped by Mackey, whose left arm was outstretched. Did it hit his arm? The ball squirmed away and another scramble followed and another Town corner, on the right. Cooke curled the corner out to the centre of the goal, about eight yards out. Groves and Todd thundered in, with Groves heading high but wide. The ball stayed in play, was returned to Cooke who shaped to cross, then cut back inside the full-back. Cooke made his way down the bye-line towards the edge of the penalty area. The full-back hacked him down from behind, a foot or so outside the area. Everyone lined up in the middle of the area, expecting a floated cross, but Cooke spotted Butterfield unmarked 15 yards out level with the near post and clipped a short pass to the Gliding Swan. Butterfield whacked a first-time drive, which was deflected off a Norwich defender and spun off through the penalty area and wide of goal.

Ah, there's more Town pressure. A corner from the Town left was half cleared, returned and Butterfield, at the near post, turned three yards out. He had the merest of glimpses of goal, shot and the ball was half stopped, bobbed up and through towards goal. The goalkeeper snatched the ball away from any flailing Town boot, on the line. Butterfield again, on the right edge of the Norwich penalty area, received a short pass with his back to goal, turned and clipped a superb, delicate chip towards the top right-hand corner. The goalkeeper leant back and tipped the ball over for a corner. All very exciting, all very good, but still no goal. It just felt that Town weren't getting the rub of the yellow and green. And now it was half time. A standing ovation for Town, for the way they had pegged Norwich back inside their penalty area, causing mild panic, and a standing boo for the officials, who were beyond rotten.

Town seemed to be playing with 10 men, but was our idol, the fatted calf muscle, fit enough to play more than a couple of minutes? Cometh the hour we thought, cometh the Livvo. Surely.

Stu's Half-Time Toilet Talk
"I'm freezing cold and had enough of that ref. And Falconer." "Is Livvo just on the bench for decorative purposes?" "It's my ambition to build a natural lake." "I like little Cookey, he's got style." "Todd's back to being bothered."

2nd half
No McDermott. Oh my god, no McDermott. Ford replaced him, so how would Town line up?? Butterfield to right back? Three at the back? No, a straight swap. Ford played at right-back, and jolly excellent he was too. The boy has style.

The second half was like the end of the first. Town, Town, Town, with very occasional attacks from the twittering yellows. Town controlled the tempo, which meant they controlled the game, and they were helped by the huge acres of space afforded to Cooke, and the huge gaps between the Norwich defence and midfield, which enabled Pouton to surge and step-over to his heart's content.

The first chance of the second half came after 50 minutes. Town were awarded a free kick 20 yards out, on the right, after Robinson was tripped from behind. Cooke lined up a shot, which careered off the wall into a space somewhere beyond the far post. Coldicott awoke and, from about eight yards out and six or seven wide of the goal, slashed a left-foot drive which rippled along the side netting. Half the Town fans leapt up to celebrate, then sat down very quickly. Immobile Willie was still unseen by humans but, despite this, Town forced Norwich further and further back, again Cooke and Robinson being the main agents of change, turning and chasing everything. Town were most threatening from free kicks and corners, actually looking dangerous and likely to score from every one. Now there's a turn up. Another free kick to Town, again on the Town right, was swung away from goal by Cooke. Groves and Todd sidled around the back of the Norwich defence and Groves, from about eight yards out, just beyond the far post, rose above all and headed powerfully against the face of the crossbar.

Just after this, Norwich had an attack, and a shot, which was very nice for them. Mulryne was given a lot of room about 25 yards out in the middle and he smacked a rising drive a couple of yards over the centre of the goal. Nothing scary, nothing too interesting. And then it was Town again, tipping, tapping and making their way upfield at will, with a return to the old triangles down the right routine.

Ford played a full part in Town's relentless surges, making some hazy, crazy, mazy dribbles through the Norwich midfield to the edge of their area. Ford was extremely confident and skilful too, a very able and pleasing substitute for McD. A move set up by Ford intercepting a noddy Norwich pass almost brought reward. He passed to Pouton, who drove forward in typical fashion, through a couple of challenges, and passed the ball out to Robinson on the right. Robinson drifted past his marker, looked up and curled a right-foot cross into the edge of the six-yard box. The ball sailed majestically towards Falconer, who was unmarked in front of goal. Falconer got to the ball before the goalkeeper, but they both missed it. The ball continued across the face of goal, bounced once and was controlled four yards out by the right-back. That's controlled with his upper arm, somewhere just below his shoulder. Penalty! shouted the Town fans, silence in the stadium, play on said the referee.

A few minutes later and it should have been 1-1. Town got a free kick about 25 yards out on the left. Gallimore swung the ball towards the far post, but slightly away from goal. Groves skipped around the back and was totally and utterly unmarked, free, unencumbered by beast or fowl. The goalkeeper froze on his line and Groves, about five yards out, near the far post, leapt, looked and steered his header past the goalkeeper. And a foot past the right hand post. He, like us, sank down with head in hands.

With about 20-ish minutes left, it was the annual Return of the Conquering Hero. Our Lord and Saviour, Sir Livvo, bounded out onto the pitch, replacing his Scottish doppleganger. Falconer is like a Livvo-lite, no that's not fair, he's not lighter than Livvo. Falconer is bottom heavy, like a weeble, he wobbles but he doesn't fall down. Nor move. Hopefully, we won't see Falconer again now that the real thing is back.

Did he make a difference? What do you think? Of course he did. The mere fact that he was on the pitch seemed to galvanise the Town players to a higher level of intensity, and unsettle the Norwich defenders. A Butterfield jink on the left touchline, followed by a cut inside and flat right-foot cross, brought all those true Livvo memories flooding back. The ones where we remember that he doesn't actually score many goals. Livvo, unmarked 10 yards out, in the centre, headed softly down and straight at the keeper. Still, that's oodles closer than Groundskeeper Willie ever managed. Or will ever. A few minutes later Robinson, again after a macho Pouton surge down the centre, drifted wide on the right and crossed into the gap between the goalkeeper and defenders. Unfortunately it was a yard in front of Livvo, who bowed his head forward like a horse refusing to jump a small fence.

All Town, but no goals; chances created, but chances wasted. Seen this time and time again. Norwich were bound to have one chance and score from it. And here is that moment. Norwich had a spell of pressure (which for them, in the context of the second half was five consecutive passes) down the Town right. They worked the ball over to the centre right to Holt about 25 yards out, who had no Town player near. He remembered that nature abhors a vacuum and so filled the void. He ran forward into the Town area and, from about 16 yards, hit a low right-footed shot across Coyne. The ball bounced in front of Coyne's outstretched right glove, and over, then a few inches past the right-hand post.

With about six or seven minutes left Town broke down the left, after intercepting a weak clearance/pass from a Norwich defender. If you think Town are bad at clearing their lines you should have seen Norwich in the second half. Lovely it was to see the opposition visibly wilt and crumble at the sight of a rampaging Town. Butterfield (maybe, anyway it was someone on the left) clipped a high pass towards the centre, about 30 yards out. Livvo rose like a graceful dolphin to glance a header over the defence and into the gap behind the non-existent left-back. The ball bounced once, maybe twice, and Cooke sprinted forward. Whack, slap, roar. From just inside the left corner of the penalty area, Cooke hit a running volley with his right foot, the ball a blur as it rocketed past the goalkeeper into his left-hand corner, about half way up. Now that was a goal, a fantastic strike, fully deserved by team and individual. Could we hear Norwich fans sing? No-o, no-o.

The next five minutes were all Town too, as they searched for a winner, rolling forward at every opportunity, sensing that the brittle Norfolkians were there to be salted and dry roasted. Pouton had a couple more direct runs at the heart of the Norwich defence, Ford too sallied forward and Jevons. Jevons? Yes, he came on with about five minutes left, replacing Robinson. Jevons managed two turns and dribbles through three defenders, each one foundering inside the area with a fall. As usual, they weren't very convincing falls. A couple of Town breakaways were stymied by some off the ball fouls on Jevons, neither of which resulted in free kicks to Town. Mackay, both times, hauled Jevons to the floor behind the referee's back, to stop him sprinting into a big space in front of goal. Norwich had brought Iwan Roberts on for the last 10 minutes or so and he was his usual gawky, awkward and basically dirty self. But he was clearly unfit and so caused little concern to Groves and Todd. He fitted into their pockets snugly.

There were three minutes of added time, during which Norwich did peg Town back and won a couple of corners. They almost had an effort on goal when Roberts, about 10 yards out in the centre, glanced a cross from their right across goal. Ford stopped the ball three or four yards from the post and calmly walked the ball away. The last action was a Norwich corner, cleared at the far post. Game over, point won, Town jubilant, Nielsen sulky, as he stripped off his shirt and threw it onto the penalty spot. The Town players walked over to the Town fans and applauded, thankfully not in that 'We're safe' way they have done sometimes before. A small step for Town, let's hope it's a giant step for Townkind.

What a strange game. The first 20 minutes were appalling really, as Town were run ragged, being unable to cope with players running around, supporting at speed, with Nielsen having almost free rein to do as he wished. Norwich could, and should, have been three up after 15 minutes. Then Nielsen tired, Town re-organised and ran the game. In the end Norwich were glad of the end, the momentum was with Town.

Individually no-one (except Falconer, who isn't a Town player, merely someone who plays for Town) can be criticised. Robinson again looked like a workhorse up front, always turning, competing and causing problems. A right pest he was to them. Cooke looked superb, with a quick footballing mind, always looking to release the ball early (after having looked up first), willing to cross first time (and succeeding). An old-fashioned winger who will be a big, big favourite if carries on like this, and signs full time. Todd was again muscular intelligence at the back. In the second half there never seemed any danger as he and Groves defended strongly and intelligently. And three cheers for Mister Ford too, showing hitherto unseen skills as an attacking full-back. Pouton and Coldicott started badly, looking half paced, but strangled the game after a subtle tactical change (with Coldicott sitting back to provide a comfort blanket and Pouton surging forward). Hey, even Butterfield looked OK, eventually getting around to tracking back and almost running.

All in all, there were many positives to take from this, and not just the result. And Livvo is back - has our talismanic keeper–killer returned to save us, like the 7th cavalry, in the last reel? That is a bugle I hear, isn't it?

Nick0's Man of the Match
There were many solid performances, from Groves (Oops, that missed header) to Todd (let's ignore the first 20 minutes) to Pouton (eventually) and Robinson. But for consistency throughout the game, Cooke was faultless down the right. He tricked, he swayed, he turned, he crossed, he was everything you'd want a winger to be. And he scored a cracker. A debut to savour. We liked him a lot.

Official Warning
Mr Jordan
Absolutely rubbish. Extremely one-eyed and a 'homer' in the first half. He looked intent on sending a Town player off. Inconsistent in his flashings of yellow, he took a tolerant view of Norwich's tackles from behind, a couple of two-footed jump tackles and a kick in the head to Coldicott. In the second he seemed to be more Town-phyllic. So he swung both ways. Indeed. He gets 3.1, his linesman with the yellow and red flag gets minus 12 for being the worst one I have ever seen.