Cod Almighty | Diary

Going home to their tomatoes

1 July 2024

Miss Guest Diary writes: Scrolling around the TV channels at the weekend between the Euros and the Tour de France, I kept accidentally coming across the coverage of Glastonbury. Not once did I recognise the person cavorting around on stage, highlighting the fact that I am as ignorant of the modern music scene as at least half the people I know are about sport. Some of those friends do keep up with music trends, so I guess my Tom Pidcock or Ivan Toney would be their SZA or the Last Dinner Party. At least with a football match you get to go home to your own bed and, more importantly, bathroom.

And so to the England game. Obviously as Town fans we are very familiar with mediocre performances against weaker opposition, and no strangers to the last-minute goal forcing extra time, but it was a hard watch. Was it a coincidence that England scored in the same minute that Phil Foden left the pitch? I think not. Unfortunately for our nerves, after they scored their second goal England did that thing Town always seem to do – sat back and invited pressure. Finally Southgate channelled his inner Hurst with a double-Parslow-strategy, substituting two attacking players for two defensive players to see the game out. Connor Gallagher – the top flight version of Harry Clifton – was particularly good at simply harrying (no pun intended) the opposition to keep them from starting an attack. But they're going to have to play a lot better against Switzerland to reach the next round. What odds they continue to emulate Town with a Wrexham-like 5-4?

It's a pity, though not a surprise, that Georgia are out. They have been by far the most entertaining team in the tournament – I love a game with plenty of staunch defending and heroic goalkeeping. And, of course, our favourite scorer in this tournament: Own Goal. I tipped Spain to win the tournament before a ball was kicked and have no reason to change my mind. Their match against Germany promises to be a cracker – they've already scored 19 goals between them – so of course it'll probably be a 0-0 settled on penalties.

Back to Town news and the rumour going round that Crawley have made a bid for Toby Mullarkey. I really hope it is just a rumour – he's now my favourite player after the departure (sob) of Harry. Regular readers will know that CA chose to sponsor Toby's shirt last season simply because of an amusing incident a few years ago when the President of Middlesex Cricket Club kept calling Tony Butcher "Toby", which I attributed to Tony being too common a name for the hallowed halls of the committee room at Lord's. The Grimsby Telegraph have excelled themselves and reversed the position by repeating the Mullarkey transfer rumour under the headline "Town Face Fight for Tony". You couldn't make it up – oh no hang on, somebody did.

There's been slim pickings on the media front from Town in the last couple of weeks: some pictures of the away shirt and six minutes of goalkeeping drills on YouTube. We're dying out here with only Wimbledon, The Euros, the Tour de France and a bit of county cricket to keep us going. Sort it Town.