Cod Almighty | Diary

Who would you trust to look after your garden?

21 August 2024

Mr Target Demographic writes: I'm still not sure how I feel about our fixture against Notts County being moved to a Thursday night. I think it's mainly negative, the only positive I can seem to find is that we are on proper Sky Sports and not just Sky Sports+. However that is quickly cancelled out by the fact that Europa League qualifying games are being played at the same time which I'm sure will  dominate the football streaming tomorrow night.

With this in mind, I'm sure for many the change in fixture time has allowed them to attend one of the best away days in the calendar that they might have previously missed, but for people like me it makes my whole journey harder! That and what am I supposed to do on my Saturday now? After all there are so many reasons I love Grimsby but one of the biggest is their ability to pull me out of doing manual labour for all my Saturday afternoon. I guess I'm just going to have to watch someone else on Saturday…I'm not going to enjoy it though.

Moving away from tomorrow night, a recent topic of conversation between me and my father is Grimsby Town players that you would trust to look after your garden. Strange, I know, but it all came about after we reminisced about the time my grandmother asked me to look after her garden while she was away on holiday and, long story short, the majority of her plants didn't make it. This sparked that looking after a garden is harder than it seems and which Grimsby Town players past and present would be the most efficient at keeping the runner beans alive.

Before getting into which players we discussed, I have to stress there are different levels to how well they would keep the garden alive. For example, keeping the grass alive is the lowest tier while supporting the tomatoes in the greenhouse would be the highest tier. In the middle you have deadheading the roses, feeding the fish and other such green-fingered activities that I appeared to be no good at.

Firstly, after his guest appearance last Saturday, Craig Disley would definitely be in the highest tier – not a single plant would be dead, and he would probably have planted some more. Whereas John McAtee, as much as I love him, would be placed in the barely being able to keep the grass alive tier. I hope this example shows that quality of player does not equate to gardening ability. There are many things that determine where a player would be placed.

A quick run-down could include:
Luke Summerfield – I would trust to keep my fish alive, but the runner beans and the greenhouse plants would almost certainly be dead.
Cameron McJannet – I'm biased, I would trust him with my first born – I think he might be one of my favourite players of the past couple years
Omar Bogle – I feel would be placed just above McAtee, not the most irresponsible but still no Disley.
Anyway! I'll leave it there for now and any other examples that people may think of feel free to write a response. For now I'm sure I'll see many of you at tomorrow's game as we take over 1000 to County (we genuinely are the best fans).

For now…UTM