Cod Almighty | Diary

The football-shaped hole in my heart remains unpatched

9 October 2024

VFTF (View from the Findus) diary made a seriously impressive diary debut last week and it falls to me, a fellow VFTFer, to tackle the notoriously difficult second diary in our new Wednesday slot.

With the weight of this responsibility weighing heavily on my shoulders, I took inspiration from the new scientific and data-driven approach adopted by the Mariners. By this, I mean I asked ChatGPT to write it for me. This was what it spat out for today:

Midweek now, and the football-shaped hole in my heart remains unpatched. Tried to distract myself with work, but all emails seem to lead back to football in some twisted way. "Circulate the report," says the boss. Yeah, right. Circulate the ball, lads! There was nothing circular about the passing on Saturday. More like squares. And squares don't score.

Depressingly pointless and makes little sense. A complete waste of time and effort which simply by existing erodes something of the magic of the thing it is imitating. And so on to last night's game against Lincoln City in the Football League Trophy sponsored by some car salesmen…..

I am unsure if this goes against Cod Almighty policy (it does - Ed), but I did watch the first half an hour or so on TV. I still find it a novelty watching Town on TV. However, the combination of a moribund Blundell Park (attendance 1,270) and a commentator who seemed to get excited at the wrong times soon dampened what little enthusiasm I had. I then had to nip out in the car so listened to bits and pieces on Radio Humberside and by the time I had got back home we had lost. Lincoln's late winner came, somewhat typically, just as I was about to get home. Was I bothered? Well, yes as it happens.

Yes, it's a pointless competition and yes allowing Premier League teams to join in with their mixed-up teams of reserves and youths sets a dangerous precedent to the integrity of football in this country. Despite all of this, I would much rather we won than lost last night.

Grimsby Town winning is good, Grimsby Town losing is bad. It matters less, but it still matters. Plus, I was looking forward to getting home and watching the penalties.

A quick scan of social media suggests the positives were the much-awaited appearances of Jayden Luker and Justin Obikwu who, when fully fit, will provide much-needed attacking options that we have sorely missed this season. I liked Obikwu when he was here last time and he is reported to have grown both physically and as a player since then, so having him get some minutes is certainly good news.

In his post-match interview, David Artell thought we were by far the better team and could have been two or three nil up at half time with better finishing. Oh, and to save you googling it I can confirm that the scorer of Lincoln City's first goal, Bailey Cadamarteri, is indeed the son of Danny.

So, on the back of two home defeats some of the optimism following our historic three (3) match winning run has been tempered. Is it a crisis? Of course not, but perhaps it does show that Artell's masterplan is still very much a long-term plan.

Here's hoping we circulate the ball better on Saturday in a game that means much more than last night's defeat.