Cod Almighty | Diary

Quantity is not quality

2 December 2024

Blimey, what's happened to Andi Thanoj's hair?

So yet another weekend without a win and the growlers are growling, the grizzlers are grizzling and there was nothing else for your Deviant Diary to do on Saturday but get those sausages a-grilling. Or frying. Or baked in the oven.

Or is your glass awaiting a top up?

So another weekend without a defeat and the grumblers aren't mumbling, the moaners aren't groaning and there's nothing else to do on a Saturday but find a word that rhymes to finish another paragraph of pure killer filler. Stop droning on?

Are you zoning out yet?

What a bore, what a chore, there's a flaw in the world if Town aren't playing on a Saturday. Wall-to-wall live football is just cheap, bland wallpaper, sounds with vision, colours moving vaguely in the background as someone in unseasonal white trainers reads out their latest internet search in a muddy field deep, deep in the backwaters of Olde Englande – and then chooses the most well-known player as their man of the match. The old hunt for an old Mariner soon fades, like an old episode of Top of the Pops. For every Bowie there's a Perry Como lurking.

At least Troy Deeney can pronounce Doncaster correctly. Doncarster? What a load of old commentating crarp.

What a rotten thing a free weekend is.

In the wonderful world of Grimsby we just have old news about some old planks. Yes, Town are selling off their dead wood at £125 a pop, which means a couple of old pillars will fetch more than we ever got for Daryl Clare, Danny Butterfield or Danilo Orsi-Orsi. Assets have to be sweated!

Anything else?

There's a game tomorrow. Yeah, whatever.